A
female
age
41-50,
*759ear
writes:I found out yesterday that my ex cheated on me with a callgirl. We are living apart and still seeing each other after living together for 3 years. I found his other phone and home and I am not one to peep at others ph, I felt this strong need to find out the truth as his behavior has gone off. Sure enough I find pictures of naked fm and the services. I felt shocked because I wanted him to prove me wrong, alas I called him up and confronted him, he still lied till I told him what id found. then he kept saying nothing happened and I told him it doesn't matter because he still cheated on me, why would I be stupid enough to believe him, a liar and a cheater who's past history with whores are a track record? I'm hurting right now but I will survive this experience, I send him to the dog pound where he belongs, thoughts of revenge come but I refuse to breakdown over a total loser, someone with limited verbal and sexual skills, me I am everything I want to become and I am going to enjoy my life again, this experience has been horrible but I am choosing to rise above because I a good person with a conscious. my question is "wouldn't honesty be better than lying to hide the truth?
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cheated on me, liar, my ex, revenge Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 2759ear +, writes (8 January 2014):
2759ear is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your beautiful words of total honesty, Today i'm still sad but the anger is going slowly, I believe I will be happy again. I am making my peace with what has happened and in healing process, acknowledging that we all have goodness inside, some people are broken, how do you fix something broken the first time, never be the same perfection again. I wish you all a great day.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 January 2014):
 For some being honest is better. For others.. not so much. If lying get them what they WANT why be honest?
If you REFUSE to break down over this "loser" then don't CUT him from your life. Don't LET him be in your life no more.
You said:" why would I be stupid enough to believe him, a liar and a cheater who's past history with whores are a track record?" You didn't. THAT is what compelled you to check that phone and find what you did. My guess is, he lied about MANY things to you (and others) because it gets him out of trouble or it works more then it fails.
Besides by lying he can at least perhaps fool himself.
You can't fix him. Just know what you will and will not allow in the future from a partner and stick to it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): I think moving on and leaving him and thoughts of revenge behind is better. Can you afford to make enemies?
You know the truth. You said he's a dog, and you're above all this.
So it's over. What's there to come clean about? You have all the incriminating evidence you need.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2014): "why would I be stupid enough to believe him, a liar and a cheater who's past history with whores are a track record?"
Considering that you shacked up with him for three years and then continued to sleep with him after you moved out, he probably figured that lying to you was worth a shot.
"my question is 'wouldn't honesty be better than lying to hide the truth?'"
Not if he has nothing to gain by telling the truth or nothing to lose by lying, and in this case it would appear that both scenarios apply.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (7 January 2014):
 He is your ex? Does that mean you broke off the relationship and moved away, but you were still seeing him occasionally? I hate to tell you this, but he didn't cheat on you, because you're no longer in a relationship. Seeing and having sex with an ex after a breakup is Friends with Benefits, otherwise known as No Strings Attached sex, meaning he (and you) can have sex with anyone you feel like having it with, and there are no relationship demands or protocol, meaning he wasn't cheating on a relationship that doesn't exist.
I know, it doesn't feel like that. That's why playing around with an ex after a breakup is incredibly foolish and leads to someone (usually the woman) getting really hurt. You should do now what you should have done the moment you two moved apart - go NO CONTACT. Move on without the baggage. He did NOT cheat on you. There is no relationship. It ended.
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