A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My grandfather is in his 80s, and he should not be on the road. I have been in the car with him, and he cant drive straight, frequently has to swerve to avoid hitting cars, and gets very stressed in busy areas. I have been in near accidents with him several times.I told my dad this, and while he agrees my grandfather shouldnt be driving, he wont do anything about it. Both him and his brother are too afraid of wounding my grandfathers pride by taking the keys away from him. I think this is insane. This helplessness on the part of my dad extends to other issues, like when my grandfather refuses to see a doctor but really needs one. It appears neither of his sons have the guts to stand up and say 'it's enough. you are going to listen.'I know its not my place to take my grandfathers keys away, but Im afraid he is going to hit someone, or even injure himself very badly. (I dont have a license myself yet, so I cant drive him either) What can I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): Be the man and hurt his feelings and tell him that you are afraid you are gonna loose him.If your father is afraid. somebody gotta be the outspoken in the family. it is your place to tell him when things go wrong out of concern. and don't listen to that lady, don't report him it's gonna hurt him bad, just try to be more outspoken that all.in the meantime get your license, when I didn't have my license I saw people driving crazy and fast but when I got my license yo urealize it's jsut the speed limit and not being behind the wheel sometimes makes you overeact.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2014): Don't tell anyone and call an police tip line. You don't have to tell them your name. Give them your grandfather's name and licence plate number. No one is the wiser. I'm sure you can do it on line or call a number. Look into your local law enforcement options.
If your grandfather is as bad as you say he is, he will injury himself, innocent victims or worse kill them. Can you and the rest of your family live with that guilt knowing that.
Driving is a privilege, not a right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2014): The first answer is here is the best suggestion, I can't offer an alternative but just wanted to agree with that answer. If you are able to, you can bring it up with him. Maybe hearing it from his granddaughter will hit home more than anyone else saying it.
My initial thought was to anonymously report him to the police, which is a good plan B but also if you don't feel able to approach the subject face to face it may be action you have to take. If he is that frightening a driver then someone needs to do something. Otherwise his own and others life's are being put at risk by him.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 January 2014):
 It may not be your place to forcibly take his keys away, but you are family, so it is your place to tell him like it is. Tell him he needs to go to the doctor for evaluation because he has become a danger on the roads. Ask him if his pride is worth a little kid getting killed in an accident he has caused. Ask him which is worse - a physical examination or time spent in the intensive care unit.
Your grandfather must have a very strong personality if people are shying away from telling him as it is. If you speak to him and he blows it off, you could always take the drastic measure of following him and calling the police on his erratic driving, or follow him and film his driving. A picture says a thousand words, and a guy may be able to argue a family members concern as overreaction, the movies and the police reports don't lie.
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