A
female
age
51-59,
*ioletSparkle
writes:When you write that question on google, you get a lot of answers such: having their life together, being more self-assured, more open sexually, etc etc, but I was wondering how some younger men find bodies with signs of aging attractive, what do they find attractive from the purely physical point of view. When I was 20 I shortly dated a guy of 31, and I remember noticing how kind of saggy his skin was (not that I liked him less because of that, mind you), and I was wondering if such difference is noticeable if the age gap is, say, 28 and 42. I was contemplating starting a relationship with a younger man, (that is the age difference), it seems that there are the bases for a "real" relationship, but I was worrying how will I feel attractive to him in 15 years. I exercise and my face looks much younger, but my body can't be mistaken for that of a twenty years old, maybe 30something. I don't want to start a relationship if I don't feel I can be attractive to him in the long run. My hair is graying, and not just on my head (!), and I just don't understand how this is not a major turnoff, except for those who have some kind of fetish, but I just don't understand the grounds of such physical attraction. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2014): older women are more experienced and aren't afraid of showing their pleasure in bed, and they know exactly what makes them tick.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 July 2014):
 I can't tell you why my 41 yr old husband find my 54 yr old self wonderful but he does.... same age gap... I turned 54 while he was still 40....
After a certain point what matters is the inside and then the outside is sexy no matter what.
...............................
A
female
reader, -BMBTL-  +, writes (20 July 2014):
 Older women are more mature, people presume, not always necessarily true, however the idea is that they are.
They have their own independence, their own lives, their own minds, in a way that a 23 year old, for example, does not.
...............................
A
female
reader, VioletSparkle +, writes (19 July 2014):
VioletSparkle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionso many enlightening comments, thank you!
That is exactly what I was looking for, I seek to understand the very physical reasons behind attraction to older women, because I didn't "get" it myself… Now I understand better, thank you again
...............................
A
female
reader, VioletSparkle +, writes (19 July 2014):
VioletSparkle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionehm, no, I don't know what other post you are talking about…
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 July 2014):
 You are the same one talking about the overweight younger guy in another post. Why contemplate a relationship when you are not attracted to him yourself?
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (19 July 2014):
 Older women are usually more mature and not as 'giggly' and superficial as the younger women. They don't spend time telling you about their problems with ex-boyfriends or current girlfriends etc. And they're more experiencd in the bedroom.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2014): Hello!I've always found older women attractive, especially when I was younger. Im far from alone! With so many young guys being physically attracted to older women. Even those women who are not overly attractive get a lot of younger guys attentions. Why?Well I will answer honestly from my own point of view and having talked to friends about it many times. Im sorry if the answers I give a bit blunt but I prefer to be honest. They are in no particular order. - I have always had the problem of looking younger than I actually am, but quite some margin. As a result, especially when younger, I struggled to be taken seriously. Dating a much older woman did make me feel more, for the want of a better word, "grown up" and made feel I was being taken seriously. - Some younger women, certainly by no means all but a greater number than in the past, had very different values to me when it came to dating and lifestyle. In my previous home town over the last few years a lot of younger people of both sexes were obsessed with "celebs", and the celeb look of fake tan, hair extensions and fake breasts. Many of the younger women drank a lot, which I didn't do, and there was a much more aggressive atmosphere amongst women on nights out. I was attracted to a more mature woman as she was more likely, in my perception at least, to have either grown out of that or not been like that in the first instance and free of the drama that a lot of the younger ones were into. Older women were more sensible, more rounded and less interested in games and drama.- I lacked confidence when I was a younger guy. I guess I felt a young, attractive woman was out of my league so I found myself attracted to older women. If i'm brutally honest partly because I thought they would be, if not grateful, then at least less judgemental. I guess I found myself believing that an older woman with imperfections would be more likely to date me than a younger, attractive woman. I also naively thought an older women would be less likely to be lured away by another guy or get less attention form men which would have made me feel insecure. - Maternal issues. I love my mom and she loves me. However she was never the kind of mother to cuddle me or tell me she loved me. it was shown in other ways: buying a bag of sweets (candy) or paying for tickets to a show for me and so on. Its just here way. BUT as a young, unconfident guy with insecurities I did feel isolated in that way. Part of my attraction to older women was to feel loved by someone my mothers age. - The belief, rightly or wrongly, that sex with an older woman would be better than with someone younger and also less pressure on me to WOW a partner in bed. In my experience both are absolutely true. I recently had a short relationship with someone of 52, I was 34. She was INCREDIBLE in bed and her imperfections and older body was in no way an issue. Likewise when I struggled to perform from nerves she was understanding and supportive, something I have not had with a younger women in the past. - In my experience, and no disrespect to younger women, but older ladies are more sensible, less inclined to get involved in drama or mind games and more relaxed about relationships. I've always felt I have less to prove. - Older woman are often more self assured, more confident and less bothered by other peoples opinions or peer pressure. I have dated younger women and spent most my time clearing up arguments about Facebook or dealing with some drama or other. Im not saying ALL younger women are like that of course, but older woman do tend to be more sensible and know what they want. - Older woman are physically attractive to me. Some men like black women, tall women, blondes, big women, etc. For me its older women. I like the fact that many mature women dress in a way which shows just enough flesh to provoke a reaction, while still leaving enough for the imagination. Whereas a lot of younger women parade around on a night out wearing half an inch of dental floss. Great if you have a stunning young body and great figure, but actually less alluring in that nothing is left to the imagination. As for you Violet Sparkle, go for it! As long as this guy is over, say, 26 then I would say it doesn't matter what the age gap. As for how you will look to him in fifteen years time, well as you are not yet even dating I don't think its worth worrying about the long term future yet. Your not marrying him, just considering dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2014): "My hair is graying, and not just on my head (!), and I just don't understand how this is not a major turnoff"
I don't get why you think men should be turned off by gray hair. Many brunette women lighten their hair, and gray is just another form of light hair. Also, it's natural, unlike those bottle blondes you see everywhere!
I would go ahead and date the younger guy. He obviously finds you attractive the way you are. If you're that worried about what he'll think later on, don't get into a serious relationship with him. It doesn't hurt to give him a chance at something short term, though. That's what I would do in your situation.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (19 July 2014):
As youwish said, men's attractions aren't always reflected in popular media. You'd think guys only liked skinny women if that was the case.
I do think your concern is valid though, he may not find you as attractive in ten years. That's just a question that can only be answered by time.
However, your body can remain in its current state for quite awhile if you take care of it. What changes do occur can be minimized.
Besides, you're thinking ahead quite a bit.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (19 July 2014):
 You should do a quick search for the top searched porn terms by country, and you'll find that the terms "granny", "mature", "old", "cougar", "mom", and "milf" are right up there with teen and college, revealing that the attractions of guys aren't always what's reflected in what mainstream society says they *should* be attracted to. In fact, BBW, full-figured, or fat are way up there in searches as well. Porn is a private thing, and guys are free to search for what truly lights them up because peer pressure is no longer a factor.
I am good friends with a couple in which the wife is significantly older than the guy she married. Just to give you an idea of what he looks like, he has a background as a male model, a Chippendale's dancer, and a small-time actor. Currently he's a business owner and is the face of all of his commercials. In short, he's a "10". Some years ago when we lived closer together, he and his wife and my husband and I were members of the same gym. We were waiting for our spouses to get out of the shower so we could head out on the town together on a double date, and he gave me insight as to his attraction to her.
He likened her to a vintage muscle car, perfect lines and power in the engine. He also talked about the most precious of drinks being aged to perfection, and loved that she was past all insecurity, all lack of confidence, and knew who she was and what she was about. Given his looks and position and financial well-being, there were many younger girls who would flirt openly with him, but to him, they were completely insignificant. The fact that his wife looks a lot like Lisa Cuddy from House MD didn't hurt either.
His former love relationships had been no less than 10 years apart of an age difference as well. It's what he prefers. They are about to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary this coming November. He's never once considered trading her in for a new model, as some crass guys have put it.
If you spend your time worrying that your body is inferior and he'll lose interest, you'll lack confidence and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's true that some guys who date older women have to deal with pressure or remarks because it's less common for a guy to date older, but it does happen, and it's just as beautiful as when they're the same age, provided that the motives of everyone are pure.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2014): Many guys who go after older women ARE doing it for sexual experience. Others are doing it subconsciously because they have maternal issues. Then some guys just find an older woman by chance who he has a connection with.
Well, does he want children? If not, I'd say go for it and see how it goes! :)
...............................
|
