A
female
age
22-25,
*eeRee911
writes:Okay so I am female and 13 years old, and she's still just a little one, six months old. I was wondering if it is appropriate to kiss your little sister on the cheek/forehead? We had a family member living with us years ago that attempted to molest me, and I never want her to feel like I'm threatening her or anything. I'm very paranoid about my sister, even though she is still very very young. But, is it okay to kiss your little sister on the cheek or forehead? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 July 2014):
 yes kisses to your little sister on her cheek or forehead are fine... even lips are ok. I kiss my friend's baby who is now two on the lips all the time.. and she kisses me right back....
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 July 2014):
 Yes, it is appropriate. You know your own intentions, so trust in them. You aren't doing anything wrong. Just do like you already do, if in doubt just ask. It's always okay to ask.
I think it is a very smart and good thing that you ask these questions, rather than be scared of kissing your baby sister on the cheek and never do it out of fear. You need to build up an understanding of what's acceptable and not, and since you didn't learn the right things growing up, you now have to ask. I understand that completely, as I do the same. Not the same situation, but my father was very aggressive and lashed out on us and hit us and would be very paranoid and controlling. So I also always ask if this or that is okay for me to do, because I am so scared I am coming off as aggressive or controlling, even if I just ask someone how was their day... I worry they will think I am snooping and trying to pry into their privacy, because that's what my dad used to do to control us. So I, like you, also have to ask where the line goes, because I didn't learn it while growing up.
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A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (20 July 2014):
What!! I am 31 and my lil half sister is 3. I kiss her on the lips if i havnt seen her in a while. I love her with all my heart.
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A
female
reader, DietSunkist +, writes (20 July 2014):
 Of course its alright! Shes just a baby and its a sign of love for her and closeness. Its not like you're kissing her with perverted thoughts or intentions, you're kissing her with sisterly love and thats totally fine! :D
Im sorry to hear about what happened to you, but if you feel uncomfortable about doing it, maybe try talking to your mom about it? She'll reassure you that its okay. :)
Shes your baby sister, and its very good that you're looking out for her. That alone shows how much you care and love her and are protecting her. So dont feel bad, sweetie. Its perfectly okay to kiss her on her forehead or cheek. :)
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A
female
reader, blueberrycheesecake  +, writes (20 July 2014):
Kissing her that way and being affectionate and spending time with her means she is bonding with you, and will grow up to know how loved she is. You're doing it just right!
When she gets a little older, you might want to start teaching her that she doesn't always need to accept hugs and kisses. I was touched inappropriately by a family friend between the ages of 11 and 13, and didn't feel able to say "Stop, I don't like this". I now work as an au pair, and look after two little boys. I don't push them for affection- if I'd like a hug, I ask.
"Would you like a hug?" with one arm held out shows them they have more choice than "Give me a hug!". Not everyone feels like a hug all of the time, and I want them to know it's okay to say "No thanks". Sometimes just a high-five will do instead. This is what I'll teach my own kids some day. Even family members don't have a right to kisses on demand.
Do you parents know about what happened to you? If they do, this might be something to discuss with them, so perhaps they could get on board with it too. I think it's important to teach a child that they don't ever HAVE to accept hugs or kisses.
If your parents don't know, I hope you'll find a way to tell them. I never did, and I wish I had. Sending you best wishes.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (20 July 2014):
 Very sorry to hear that you went through something so horrific. But of course it's fine to do what you're doing. You're just showing affection to your younger sibling, don't worry about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2014): Please get counselling for what happened so that you can feel secure in the love you give your sister :)
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A
female
reader, fitbabe1987 +, writes (20 July 2014):
Perfectly ok. As is hugging.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 July 2014):
 Of course it is okay to kiss her on the forehead! I'm really sorry about what happened to you in the past. Kissing on the forehead or cheek is quite alright and is a tender and innocent expression of love and caring, and is very healthy for you and your little sister, as it encourages bonding between you two.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (20 July 2014):
Baby wants to feel loved.....you are doing just that. If you feel confused about your feelings speak with an adult you trust.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (20 July 2014):
 Oh yes definitely. You know that you are just trying to show her love.
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