A
female
age
30-35,
*asminejj
writes:When I was 15 I met a guy and started dating him, he was everything a parent didnt want their teenage daughter dating. Part of me liked him because he drive my parents crazy.He was older (20 yrs old) had run away from home , lived with friends, sang in a band and loved to party. He wasn't a horrible guy but did get in trouble a few times for fighting and once was involved with some damage that was done to a local park. But as a bf he was very sweet when we were together and we had lots of fun. We broke up after dating for just over a year there wasn't any real other then we were both just at different parts in our lives. We remained friendly but only ever say each other a few times over the next few years.This past April I returned home from being away for school and he was the first person I ran into . The first week I was home I seemed to bump into him everywhere. He asked me out to lunch so we could catch up and we need up talking most of the night. I mentioned him to my parents since we live in a small town i figured they would know what he has been up to and they still had the same view on him they had when I was in school even though he turned his life around. He started his own carpentry business, cleaned up his life but said he was unsuccessful in the dating game apparently he has dated a lot of different girls over the last few years. We have been secretly dating for the past few months and I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant. I am terrified to tell them, not only will they be upset that I'm pregnant and by this guy but they will be upset I've been hiding all of this from them. I've tried mentioning him a few times to my parents and every time it ends with them saying how horrible he is.How can I make this situation better?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2014): This situation calls for an abortion, plain and simple. It is the right thing to do here no matter how unpopular and unpleasant the idea is.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Nothing of what you have just said about the boyfriend or your parents' approval of him or any of the past matters in the face of the fact that you're going to have a baby. Unless you are terminating the pregnancy, which it sounds like you aren't, that baby is everything now, and your actions...every single one of them, should have that and that alone as your motivation.
Gone is the high school rebellion, the secret soap opera crap, the lying to your parents, and the fact that you have just proven your parents right by making bad life decisions whenever you were around this guy.
You need to tell your parents. No more hiding. No more high school teenage behavior. You're going to need them. Second, you need to tell the guy who got you pregnant. He's got his own business now? GOOD. He'll need to support his child financially and get his act together as well because he's going to be a father.
Consider long and hard the fact that you now have a helpless life in your hands. The whole "What will he think, what will my parents think" stuff - it stops now. Your child's life is the only thing that matters now. Your life is now that of a mother, and you no longer have the luxury of being carefree and unaccountable for your decisions. The page has turned. A new and hopefully more mature chapter of your life is now beginning. Get your parents on board, deal with their reaction to your bad decisions, and get ready for your new son or daughter. This is one thing you can't hide.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): By the way, when I say grow up and take responsibility, I don't mean to be harsh; it's just to shake you that you HAVE to be an adult now and just face it :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2014): "How can I make this situation better?"By growing up and taking responsibility.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (16 July 2014):
 I don't know if you wrote the title to this thread but it is just one of those questions that begs for a smart one word answer. I'm not going to resist the temptation this time because in fact it is the right answer and can be applied to your stated question.
Expeditiously.
Yes indeed the sooner you talk to your parents the better this situation will be. They are quite candid with you now and are accepting of your adult status. This will likely go better than you think.
FA
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