A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just curious. Because I use one but it seems that most people are really weary of it and I think a lot of them think wheelchair-users are a no go when it comes to dating, or even friendship. I'll be honest and say that making friends has been bloody hard sometimes and still is, but I do have a lot of fun with the ones I do have, and I try to be a good friend and be friendly to everyone whether they are friendly back or not. That way, the way they choose to react to me is their problem, but I've found that when you make an effort to be generally friendly, people are likely to return the friendliness, even if they aren't interested in being friends. I am a nice person "on the inside" and all, have a nice personality etc, but that only helps when someone finds something physically attractive about someone else first to make them want to get to know them better. Physical attraction is what makes someone pursue a possible relationship in the first place, but my disability does not make me feel physically attractive at all. I have many scars on my legs and feet from various surgeries which also makes me feel ugly and abnormal. I suppose I can't really expect others to find me attractive when I don't find myself attractive. It's fine to say "don't judge a book by its cover" and all, but fact is, the more the cover catches your eye, the more likely you are to read the book. Just the way life works and I don't hold that against anyone. It is just frustrating at times when I crave lust and love like everyone else. Many people also seem to assume that wheelchair-users are asexual and seem fascinated when they find out I can have sex. I mean, I definitely have a sex drive but it would be a bit harder to find the best position and everything, both for her and me. Haven't come close to doing that though so I'll figure it out when I get there haha. I guess it might be because people assume that if you use a wheelchair, you are most likely paralyzed but lots of people including me aren't. I don't hold it against people that they may be scared or unsure because it is different and to be fair, if I were in their position I'd probably feel the same.Yes sometimes I'd like to be normal, and I'd like to do everything a normal person can, and mind you, I do. I do almost everything as normally as you, the "healthy" human being. The only difference is that sometimes I take the elevator or the ramp, while you take the stairs. Living in a wheelchair is not at all impossible, it is challenging, but possible. Yes, it is a part of my life but it's just a way of getting around. Nothing more.Anyway, long post short, would you date someone who uses a wheelchair? Or consider it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2014): Can you please read Envy by Sandra Brown.
The hero Parker Evans in my dream guy and he is in a wheel chair.It doesn't take away any of his attractiveness.
Please do analyze the character as to what made him so attractive.He is human,has a lot of flaws and is far from perfect.Its the personality that makes people fall in love more than anything else
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 July 2014):
 I would date and marry someone in a wheelchair no problem.
MY former husband thought his legs and feet ugly due to scars from surgery as a baby. I disagreed and barely saw the scars.
I have tons of scars... scars are what give us character and stories to share... they are like roadmaps of our lives.
YOU see them and think them unattractive... but that's YOUR feeling not someone else's. Let others find their own conclusions. Scars don't bother most adults... we all have them.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2014): yes i would date someone in a wheelchair, hope you can find someone who would too ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2014): I have been with my boyfriend, who is a wheelchair user, for three years now, we're both 24.
We met at uni, I saw him around campus and fancied him from the start because he was funny and attractive - I wasn't fussed he used a wheelchair. However, to be honest, it was a barrier between us getting together.
He thought I was nice to him just because he was in a wheelchair and felt sorry for him and I walked on eggshells around him because I was worried about offending him. I think it took about 18 months before we actually got comfortable and realised we could just be ourselves - and then we admitted we'd both liked each other all along and could have saved a bit of time by just being upfront!
I would say be confident and don't worry too much about it, you'll find someone who likes you for you and is attracted to you. Don't assume someone wouldn't like you, assume they WOULD because you're a good person and have a lot to offer.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2014): I think the key is the attitude,
if I saw that a guy was willing to take care of himself in spite of his disability, willing to try things and not dwell in the past, and there was true connection, then yes, I would date him
I guess the problem is to get close enough to interesting ladies so they can see beyond the first impression - maybe try new activities like courses or workshops? I hope everything goes well for you
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 July 2014):
 I'd date someone in a wheelchair if I were single. My aunt dated a guy who was in a wheelchair, and they eventually married, staying married until he passed away. She always still calls him the greatest love of her life.
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A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (19 July 2014):
 You sound like a nice outgoing man, why wouldn't anyone not want to date you. You should concentrate on building relationships first, granted the wheelchair may hold you back but only because the un known frightens some people off. Once you get on a friendly basis with a lady and she gets to know you then the barrier will come down and she will feel more comfortable. I would date a man in a wheelchair if I fancied him, cos I usually fancy men who make me feel comfortable and are fun and make me laugh, the rest just comes naturally. Good Luck.
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