A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in a dating website about a month ago and he asked me to pay his phone bill. It makes me a little uncomfortable because I don't know if he is using me. He says he likes me a lot and has plans to come visit me in 3 weeks (lives 7 hours away) but I don't know. I wouldn't ask him for financial help just because were still so new. I don't know him I only know what he tells me which isn't much because we only been tAlking for a month. It's $60 and he says he loves talking to me and if I don't pAy it he won't have a way to talk to me. My gut tells me that's bs! What do I do? I like him. But I don't want to seem selfish. Why would he ask me that? I really don't want to do it because technically he's Still kind of a stranger. But I do want to get to know him more Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2014): I once met a girl on a dating site. She seemed genuine and said she liked me a lot. We talked for a good two months before she started saying how many bills were piling up. She hinted to the fact that she would have to cut her cell phone. . .unless she could get the money to pay it. I figured why not as I thought she really cared for me. I did so for about another two months to talk to her. More times than I'd like to admit, I tried to get in contact with her but there was never any answer. She would come up with a million reasons why she wasn't available but she would always cozy up to me whenever it was that time of month again. What tipped me off was when one time she asked me to pay it, I was hesitant as I felt I was being played. She then said that she would talk to me all month if I payed it. I then realized that this whole time she wasn't talking to me because she liked me, she was only doing it to get me to keeppaying her bill. I then told her that I wouldn't be able to pay it that month and she said that it was okay but she would have to disconnect it for a while but promised she would call me when it up again and that she'll miss me. A few days into the month, I decided to try and call her but it kept going to voicemail. I then tried from a different cell phone a few days later, she picked up and asked whom it was, I hung up and never talked to her again. Don't fall for the bullshit this guy is spinning. Learn from my mistake and get rid of this loser. You'll only end up getting hurt.
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (12 July 2014):
Rule of the thumb for dating (and friendship): if they depend on you paying so that they can be in contact with you, they're leeches. Get rid of him. End of story.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (12 July 2014):
 What a confidence trickster. How many girls pay him $60 a month? He must be laughing all the way to the bank.
Those girls gullible enough to pay the $60 would soon be asked for more, once he'd ascertained their capacity to pay him more.
Cut off contact with this fraudster.
Any guy asking for money like this intends to Use the girl, as a source of money for him, and for as long as she is willing to pay.
He seeks your financial resources, not you for the person you are.
You definitely do deserve better than this User guy.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (11 July 2014):
 I will answer your question if you send me £25 for my monthly internet conection...! How does that sound?
Ditch this user/scammer and find a decent guy and not someone who expects you to pay his way. if he is like this NOW what will he be like in the future if you did get together?!?!?!
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (11 July 2014):
Either the beginning of a scam or he's a total loser. Have more respect for yourself!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2014):
 Nope, don't pay. Instead cut the contact. If he can't afford a SIMPLE phone bill of $60 he can't afford to met up with you any time in the future and (at least financially) has nothing to offer.
He has "plans" to visit you, 7 hours away, but can't afford $60 for his phone? REally? So if he came to see you GUESS who would be playing for EVERYTHING while he is there?
Yea, so not a keeper.
And I agree he could EASILY be scamming more girls to pay his bill.
Auntie SVC is so right, Skype is free. You can SEE the person and talk at the same time.
I think you REALLY need to listen to your gut and not go with the "fantasy" he has been feeding you. THAT fantasy is what is making you CONSIDER to pay, because (as you write) you DO want to talk to him. He has sold you a sand castle (himself) at low tide.... It (he) might look good now, but trust me, a good guy wouldn't do this.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2014): One guys who I actually has sex with asked me to bring me from my trip very expensive cigars. At least one he said. I don't know anything about cigars and thought why not, I am abroad, I ll bring him a little souvenir When I went and looked at the cigars he mentioned, they were 70$ each. When I saw the price, I broke up with him that very moment mentally. But still out of curiosity I asked him, if he knew how much those cigars cost. He said, yeah, they are kind of expensive, but I thought I could ask you that because ... You know... We are not particularly strangers. He ment, we had sex. Then he added that he is willing to pay for them, of I bought them first. I said, no, I am not spending this much money on you, I hardly know you. And that was the end of it. I hope that no girl ever falls for a guy like this. It sounds like he is a sociopath that uses internet to get girls topay his bills. Forget him, and never ever pay for a guy, unless he is your official boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 July 2014):
 You're probably one of about 10 girls he's doing that to. A con artist makes money off of the gullible, and you've shown just by coming here and asking our advice that you AREN'T gullible enough to be his mark.
Aunty BimBim hit the nail on the head - how can he visit you in 3 weeks if he's getting you to pay his phone bill? He can't even keep his lies straight. He either has no intention of meeting you, or that $60 isn't for his phone bill, and he's coming out to see how much more money he can get from you as well as other favors.
One thing about SVC's suggestion of Skype's free video service - you'd find out how much different from his pictures he really is.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (11 July 2014):
 Listen to your gut, it speaks the truth!
If he can't afford $60 for his phone bill how is this moocher going to be able to afford to visit you in three weeks time?
Scammers often seem charming and friendly, and the sort of person we all want to know, its part of their tricks of the trade.
Throw this one back into the murky waters, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
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A
male
reader, devont +, writes (11 July 2014):
 Your gut tells you it's bs because it IS bs. To ask for money after such a short time reeks of a scam. Just like the others have said, he can you Skype or email or find a bloody pay phone or something. Maybe I missed it in your post, but why does he need the money? Does he not have a job? Not that financial stability is the most important thing in a partner, but do you really want to be with someone that can't budget for $60? Believe me, you don't want to be with a guy like that. Block him and move on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 July 2014):
 you can offer to video chat on skype on the computer... it's free. I will bet that once that offer is made he will have an excuse as to why that's not a good option. Stand firm and do not pay the bill.
I would NOT pay his bill even if you meet him... but I am betting once you decline to pay his bill he's going to disappear.
which is for the best.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 July 2014):
 What a shameless moocher.
Come on, you know nobody in their right mind would do that ! By the same token you could have asked him to do the same for you, - pay YOUR phone bill so that you can talk, I bet that 60 bucks more in your pocket would not have hurt you either- how come you did not even THINK of anything similar ?.
Because " normal" people do not do it. Everybody may be in need of a lttle loan at some point, but they go to family , or friends or colleagues - someone they KNOW, not a stranger on the phone to whom they can't offer any guarantee of repayment.
This is just incredibly gross, and as the other poster says , it may also be like another source of income for him, fleecing naive strangers out of a dating site.
Say a firm NO WAY, and if he does not talk to you anymore, congratulate yourself, there's nothing to " know better " about this guy, just more attempts to hit on your wallet !
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123 +, writes (11 July 2014):
 What!! He asked you to pay his phone bill just so you can talk to him? Don't fall this bullshit, he's just using you and he sure doesn't beat around the bush! You don't even know him and he's asking you to foot his bill, what's he going to ask for next? That you buy his food? Pay his electricity bills? I bet he's also going to ask you to pay for his ticket when he comes to visit you.This is ridiculous! Not only is he completely shameless, he's also exploiting you and has no qualms about it. You met him on a dating website, of course he'll tell you that he loves talking to you because he's looking to fleece you! And how do you even know he's not doing this with other women as well? If he wont have a way to talk to you unless you pay his bill(!!), then that's probably the best thing that can happen to you.Run for the hills!
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