| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it just me, or am I normal in thinking that it is very wrong for my husband who is 27 years old to lie on a sofa with his head in his 10 year old sisters lap and start stroking her face because I personally find it weird. My friends also said it was weird. What do others think? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (15 January 2015):
 SVC, how DARE you not be in 100% agreement with me?!??!
;)
LOL...actually, she brings up a good point. A good, non-accusatory conversation with your husband would put you at ease about the situation, and she's right -- it does boil down to how people are raised. Inappropriate stuff is a reality, so SVC's a good voice for the cautious.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 January 2015):
 Normally I am in 100% agreement with YouWish. In this case I am not.
Since we are both very wise aunties, I tend to think that it has to do with how we are raised and what we grow up with.
That kind of behavior between siblings seems weird to me and the thought of it makes me uncomfortable.
IF it bothers you, that's fine. IT may not be anything bad, but that does not mean it does not bother you.
Consider that this is how they were raised and see nothing wrong with it but that if you stay with him that it will continue so that you will need to talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2015): People who look at children in a wrong way go to lengths to hide this. If he has less than noble intentions he would not have done it publically. And if she laughed and took it well then there's no harm done.
I have a huge age difference with my sister and we were not afraid to monkey around when she was 10. It seems a bit much to expect them to sit on separate sofas and such.
It is a serious implied accusation so really think about whether you've seen other signs from him that would point to the way he treats her being inappropriate?
...............................
A
female
reader, Midnight Shadow  +, writes (15 January 2015):
 Weird, yes (to me), but not in a perverted way, if that's what you were implying.... Is there another reason that has put doubt in your mind as to his intentions?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2015): I don't know because I don't have a brother. My boyfriend (in his early 30's) has younger sister's though (in their late 20's) and I recall one time we were walking out of a restaurant with one of his sister's and he placed his palm on her stomach and gave her like a squeeze/tickle. Something he usually does to me too. At that point I had never seen him show affection to another girl. But I thought it was cute and definitely harmless. This sounds innocent to me. Especially given how young his sister is.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2015):
 I don't see anything inappropriate in what you mention.
My older brother used to braid my hair (he was real good at french braids and herringbone braids.) and I guess it was good practice as he ended up having two daughters.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2015): He was probably just being brotherly or fatherly.
That is not enough evidence to hang him on something inappropriate.
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 January 2015):
WiseOwle is right. Different cultures would make the context different. Some people may think it's weird, and other people may just think it's normal depending on their own family dynamic.
However, I'm not really alarmed by what you mentioned. Some families are more touchy-feely than others. Not all touching has to be sexual. He didn't fondle or grope her in my opinion. My mom used to scratch my brothers' hair when they'd sit in front of her during TV movie nights, and it was completely innocent.
My older brother used to put his arm around my shoulder and give me a peck on the cheek sometimes. NO, we didn't do anything with each other.
I highly doubt your husband and 10-year old sister are doing anything inappropriate.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2015): Not knowing his culture or ethnic background, it's hard to say. In my book, if it involves a child; and it makes you feel uncomfortable, it's inappropriate.
...............................
|
