A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was able to move on knowing we were still on speaking terms - but now I just don't know what to do with this non contact and it's affecting me and my sleep badly!I do have his mobile number - should I text and ask him why?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 January 2015):
Well in that case I guess he decided after you had the date that you and he had no real future together and he moved on. Not sure how much more closure you feel you need. The fact that you can't let this go, and not let go to the point that it's affecting your health, makes this a job for a professional therapist. Please call and make an appointment so you can get on with your life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi,
I am the OP - and Yes - I have met the guy in question. We went on a date, got on well, but then he suddenly moved on - no explanation or anything.
It's not about stalking - it's about closure & understanding why!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 January 2015):
Okay, let me get this straight...you haven't actually met this guy face to face...you haven't ever gone a date...never even held hands and yet you are losing sleep over it and are having trouble coping. Honey you need to seek out some professional help with this, we have responded to your posts and yet you just blow us off. Time to bring the pros I think.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (13 January 2015):
It has all been online, you didn't ever go out with him, from previous questions it seems you never even met him face to face.
It would appear he has connected with your friend, I think that is what is rankling you, she is the winner which makes you ..... what? A woman with a crazy obsession about some guy you only ever communicated with online? A stalker?
Do you really want to be a crazy online stalker?
Close your facebook account for a month or so and do something else instead, watch some Jeremy Kyle on youtube and tell yourself that is not where you want to end up!!
You really do have to let this go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): I agree with aunty bim bim, it's getting out of hand when someone simply blocking you on fb makes you react like that. You need more to occupy your life and time to stop this obsession.
You deleted his gf, someone he cares about and by doing so it's clear you don't want her in your life. Why would he then keep you? If I were them I wouldn't want you being able to see their posts by still being friends with him. You shouldn't take it too seriously, I add and delete people on my Facebook often, some people aren't real friends you would meet for coffee etc...so off they go! I have people I used to work with but if I've left and time passes not seeing them, then I'll slowly remove them as we don't see each other. You've simply been taken off as you're not a friend anymore.
Enjoy other things and count what you do have in life as a blessing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): Why would he keep in touch with someone who does not at least accept his new other half?
By unfriending his partner, you have shown that you do not want to be a part of his life with his girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys! I am feeling a bit better now. I think the original shock of being blocked got to me - its so severe AND unnecessary.
Aunty Bim Bim - I am out & about a lot seeing other people - but it doesn't stop those quiet moments when you return & can't sleep at night because I have messed up!!
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (13 January 2015):
I agree with everyone - you need to let it go and move on.
He has a new girlfriend. He moved on and is now focusing on his new relationship. He did the right thing to unfriend you.
If you really love him and care for him, let him go. Be content to see him happy. I'm sure down the road, a few years from now, when you have moved on too, you all will have a chance at being friends again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 January 2015):
What Auntie Bim said.
LET IT GO. He isn't into you and don't want NEED your "friendship".
YOU were holding on to this "friendship" in hopes he would change his mind. Those two people DESERVE each other. LET it go.
Get OFF Facebook, go for a walk, go out with friends (REAL friends, not the FB variety) spend time with family, pick up a hobby and STOP obsessing over something that DID NOT work out.
You are NOT having an easier time getting "over" him by stalking his FB page.
Take his un-friending/blocking you as HIM closing the DOOR on whatever it was you had. HE has moved on.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (12 January 2015):
You need to let go and find a new hobby. Your obsession with this couple is very unhealthy:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-was-too-shy-to-start--.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/do-guys-really-give-up-on-women-that.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/would-pride-stop-him-from-giving-a-second.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-out-of-this-love-triangle.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/love-triangle---the-aftermath.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/she-never-asked-why-i-dropped-the-friendship.html
Disconnect your facebook account for a month and take up knitting.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 January 2015):
There is no bad blood. You unfriended her. He unfriended you.
It's face book. I am sure when you run into each other in person you will all be smiles and pleasant... and that's good enough.
Move on. there is nothing here for you to worry about or suffer over...
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 January 2015):
It's all because he has the new GF, and it is right that he unfriend you. It's not you - it's about their new relationship. You unfriending the new GF was because you're not over your ex, and you know it. That makes you both a threat to her AND inappropriate for him to carry on speaking to.
Do not text him. You may not have bad blood now, but you WILL if you do. You need to go NO CONTACT. It's because it's disrupting your life like this that you must do no contact, because your obsession with your ex is very unhealthy and could lead to depression in you if it hasn't already done so.
If you find yourself sliding deeper into obsession, talking to someone like a therapist will work wonders in having coping skills. Right now, it's your ego that can't let go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks - I just don't want there to be bad blood between us - and I can't put that right now, unfortunately.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 January 2015):
Sure go ahead and text him if you want to appear to be that scary stalker Ex. You unfriended his girlfriend so she most likely told him to unfriend you and he did. Time to move on, you said yourself it was only a fling.
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