A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I want my prevent my husband from working for a female tennent. My husband is the repairs manager for a local housing authority. One of the female tennents has needed ALOT of repairs done to her home and my husband has visited her for every repair. Even though he is only supposed to send the appropriate workmen to her house. I am a housing adviser so know this by looking at the women's file. I wouldn't be so worried by this if it wasn't for the fact he talks about her all the time, yet none of his other Tennant's. I seen her once in the office and she is a very attractive young women around mid 20s. I want to trust him but my gut is telling me she's more to him. How should I approach this? Why is he visiting this women so often? Why is she always on his men? I'm I not enough for him? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (17 January 2015):
 There are many reasons that he himself shouldn't go there himself all the time, and not just because of your insecurity or jealousy issues.
If he has a team of repair workers out there that should be doing the work, then he is RISKING your finances by going there himself all the time.
You do not mix these sort of things -- she could hold your family personally civilly liable if he does a repair that wasn't done correctly, or that she SAYS wasn't done correctly. With plumbing or electrical repairs, he needs a license, bond and insurance to cover his work. With moving things, if he were to damage her things in the process, she could come after him for the value of the repairs because he isn't properly licensed.
He needs to protect his livelihood and not cross boundaries. What if she becomes a problem tenant and stops paying rent? If he's acting inappropriate with her, she could use that as a defense and undermine the business and his employment there.
Also, from a practical standpoint, I'd want to know the nature and type of repairs needed. If she needs an unusual number of repairs, I'd want to know what they were, what resources and materials were used, AND what was being done to cause the need for them.
If the repairs needed are BS and an excuse, I'd serve my husband strict notice that HE is not to go there anymore if he wants to remain married, and if it's confirmed that the repairs are fictitious, I'd tell him not to come home.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2015): It seems unethical and probably sackable if your company found out you were using your position to look at someone's files to simply check up on your husband.
Whatever has happened, there is a trust issue here and the fact you felt the need to delve into your work records shows this is quite serious. Does he have a history of cheating? I think if you're picking up signs and he doesn't have a reasonable answer then maybe your gut feeling is right but you'll need to talk to him. Or have you been cheated on by someone else, and are taking this hurt through your new relationship? Just important questions to ask yourself to understand if you're being reasonable or not.
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A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (17 January 2015):
This is very difficult for you and i understand where your coming from.I would suggest that you have an indept with your husband re the situaton.However just a friendly chat and just mention that you noticed that he did the repair work rather than send the workmen for this women.Ask him for the reason why ? and see what he has to say but besure you dont come on to strong or your husband will close up.Maybe he is just flattered and maybe she has asked for him in particular.You are in a position of power so to speak re your job so do some research there.I know you have a gut feeling that there is something going on.But thead with care untill you are sure.Kind wishes NORA B.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2015): I would listen to your gut feelings.
Why don't you offer to attend the appointments he has with her? As you stated you both work with the same organisation.
When going out I would make clear that you don't just work with him you are his wife.
Ask to see all the repairs he has recently done.
Guarantee you will shake them both up if something has gone on.
When he brings her up in conversation tell him you don't want to discuss work.
If none of that works then tell him your corncerned about all the visits this girl requires and that might be enough for him to wake up and see your not stupid.
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