A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:HiI was wondering that sometimes we just click with people and regardless of how less we know them and how less we spent time with them, we start to share the secrets we never want anyone in the world to know. It's not that you are careless but it seemed like the right thing to do.This recently happened to me with a lass and I'm not sure why I did it . I just met the person before thrice or so but it was very brief. Next time I met her at a beach and I started to talk about things which could even affect my life to the worse if she tells other people.My question is, I am very careful and not stupid to share such details, then why on earth I shared everything with her. All I can say is it felt right. No big regrets even when I don't know if I can trust the person even.Can anyone tell me what this means and why humans tend to do that ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 January 2015):
 I think at times we find it easier to talk to an ALMOST stranger, rather then someone who we know well and who "thinks" they know us.
If this girl is a good listener and seems non-judgmental too, all the easier.
Keeping things all bottled up is never healthy. YOU need to find a way to deal with those issues (whatever they may be).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2015): When things weigh heavily on your mind; sometimes you need someone you can confide in. When your troubles become far too much of a burden, you may sometimes spill your guts unintentionally. Even to the wrong people.
Loneliness often forces people to seek others to share their story. She must be a kind person and a good listener. Unfortunately; the subconscious can sometimes involuntarily purge itself; and you may "over-share." That's usually the pillow-talk we hear about; when spies over-share classified information with women they merely picked-up in a bar one lonely night. Women have a way of getting secrets out of men. Especially beautiful women.
We men bottle-up our feelings and emotions until we nearly burst. You've been carrying these secrets around too long.
In my personal-life, sometimes people tell me very intimate things about themselves. I don't know why they do it. I start a conversation; and before you know it, they're telling me private details about themselves. They can't figure-out why. I'm a good listener and somewhat empathic. I feel the pain of others and I listen and soothe them. I think you needed a ear, and she gave you one. You were in a peaceful place, she was attentive, and you bared your soul.
I came to DearCupid to help people; because we all need to just let it out, and just discuss it without all the psycho-babble and feeling violated by being asked the weird question, if we feel sexual attraction toward our mothers? My friends come to me for advice or a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes people I hardly know, tell me things. Believe me, I've heard things I really really don't want to know. I hold these secrets in confidence; because I know the relief confession brings, and how it frees the soul. If my mother had her way, I would have been a priest. That was never my calling. Apparently her wish indirectly came true, because I share my experience and wisdom to comfort troubled souls.
It's best to seek professional-counseling when you're overwhelmed, and it starts forcing itself to the surface; or starts changing your behavior in negative ways.
If alcohol or drugs played no part in your true confessions; it had to be extreme guilt. For your sake, I hope it wasn't anything criminal.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (12 January 2015):
 You've been lonely. That's why. You're wanting someone like that in your life that you can open up to. You are right to be nervous about doing that, because that can scare people away to get that deep that fast.
Getting way too deep from the start is like lighting an entire matchbook. It flares up strong and bright, but burns out just as fast. Like Elinor said in Sense and Sensibility, "Good work! You've covered Shakespeare, Scott, all forms of poetry; another meeting will ascertain his views on Nature and romantic attachments, and you will have nothing else to talk about and the relationship will be over."
Go slowly, and remember, she's not your therapist. Next time you see her, let it be about her! Ask questions and be interested in her. Listen to what she says. Make it about her.
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