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female
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anonymous
writes: I am a 24 yr old virgin, and recently met a (very experienced) guy through mutual friends. I'm not embarrassed to tell him I'm a virgin, but I am embarrassed about our friends finding out. On a drunken boys' nights out, he sometimes lets slip with personal stuff and might accidentally tell them about this. Could anyone offer any advice? I know this is a really silly question, but I've been stressing over it for ages! Thanks!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): Hi everyone, this is the same person who asked the question, I just want to say thanks for all your help. I sat down and talked with him and told him the truth and asked him to keep it to himself. You were right Dr Pete, he was great about it and then he even admitted to me that while he'd had a lot of flings with different women he'd never slept with anyone he really cared about, so he's as scared as heck about sleeping with me! Since I was honest with him he wanted to be honest with me and what he told me was sort of a guarantee that he wouldn't say anything because he's trusting me with private information of his, too. So now I feel I can trust him a lot more. Thanks again guys, I feel heaps better :)
A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 My dear its not a stupid question at all. Let me tell you, be honourned that you are 24 and are chaste, its nothing to be ashamed of. Virginity is precious, once its gone, its gone, aint never coming back. Listen, who cares about the friends finding out, perhaps some of them are not as experienced as they all perhaps make out to be. You are not dating them so it has nothing to do with them. I totally advovate Dr Pete's wonderful advice as well as the others. You have nothing to be embarressed about. xXx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2006): I agree with the others,
This guy should really respect you for being a virgin and you too should be really proud!
You say he is "really experienced", how so?
People who sleep with large amounts of people arn't necessarily sexually really experienced.
People who are in loving, healthy, sexual relationships based on trust and respect, are.
You only need one partner to become as experienced as you want to be.
In society, and especially so in the younger market, it's pushed that sexual promiscuity makes you a better lover, and better able to choose "the one". Not true. If you ever get to talk about this guys sexual past with him, I have no doubt that he learnt next to nothing if he has slept with a lot of people. You learn nothing about a womens body, nor you own, by having drunken sex with some nervous insecure women in the dark. That is the reality of most one night stand sex.
You should tell him that you don't want him to tell anyone about the personal things you've mentioned. If this guy can be trusted, he will listen to what you have said and not say any thing. If he breaks that trust, at least you know you still have your virginity to share with someone more deserving! :)
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 There's nothing to be ashamed of being a virgin. In fact, in some ways you can take pride in it. I was with a group of people this weekend and a girl (probably nearly 30 years old) stated she was a virgin and was waiting for her marriage (she's engaged). Everyone was supportive and not-critical.
I wouldn't worry about it, and if it comes out, then remember there's nothing to be ashamed of about it at all
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2006): Dont take your virginity as an embaressment, be proud that you have chosen not to have sex yet. I am with a VERY experienced guy, and can count the guys ive had sex with on 1 hand, but it has never caused any troubles, I dont know what your 'mates' are like, but in my group of friends we talk about sex like we would any other topic, everyone is open, honest and often funny. I guess I come from a bit of a different culture.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (11 June 2006):
 If you worry about what he will say to his mates and by all accounts your worries are well founded then give this guy a miss, he is not worth the trouble and look out for someone who is a little less of a jack the lad to loose your virginity with, my advice is that you should hang on until you are in a loving and trusting relationship to loose something as preciouse as your virginity.
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