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male
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*oggz
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months and at the moment we hae broken up. The reason for this is because she is not so keen on a girl that is a close friend of mine. Although she used to hold feelings 4 me in the past and we almost had sex, my ex still doesn't want to believe that we are juast friends. I love her deeply but at times i just get fed up and i'm tired of telling her that nothing is going on.She on the other hand goes to look for attention from other boys every time we have an argument and thats something that i don't do. I have girls calling my phone now and then but they are all just friends. But She has a problem with nearly every girl that phones my phone and she says she doesn't trust me. We argue all the time and its just really stressing me out.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 June 2006):
 You should consider cutting off all contact with your 'close female friend' in order to make it work with your girlfriend. Whilst this in a way seems like conceding, you have to ask yourself what it will take to really make the relationship work. Sometimes compromise is necessary, even in the face of 'irrational' behaviour like jealousy.
There's lots of other possible paths, but if you really love her deeply like you say then you should be willing to help her. Put yourself in her shoes, perhaps you would want the same thing if the positions were reversed?
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): I dont believe in bailing out once there is a simple problem in a relationship as yours. Jelousy is something that everyone experiences and you must agree with me that your ex-girlfriend has the right to be. You had an past relationship with your close friend and she admitted having feelings for you. I agree with the last two readers if you truly love her work on this and make sure you assure her that she is the one for you.Cheers
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A
female
reader, camille  +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Some people get jealous very easily and it destroys relationships. Why did you tell her that you and your friend nearly had sex though? That won't have helped. It's hard to convince anyone that men and women can be friends without there being any fancying on at leasy one side. I find it's quite rare too but if yoiu make your partner feel secure, there shouldn't be anything to worry about. Anyway, the way she reacts to this is proof that you two aren't compatible, you're not even together right now. So all I can say is move on and the next girlfriend you have, keep back the information yeah? There is no need for anyone to know that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2006): dear joggz i have read ur dillema and i tried to put myself in ur situation, i can understand how ur ex feels because this friends of urs is not just an ordianry friend because you almost had sex so that is the reson why ur ex is so against her. so what i think you should do Joggz is be really carefull about the impressions you give to your friend and let the girl always know that there is nothing going on with you and her. i dont think you should stop talking to her but just be carefull.your ex should understand that there are always other women in the past and if she really loves you she should TRUST YOU.
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A
female
reader, soletshearit +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Look the fact is that you can't have close relationships with that girl if you want your ex back. The fact of the matter is, something did happen between you and your friend. You need to decide who is your priority and under no circumstances should you try and hide the fact that you are still friends with this girl cause you can only get away with that for so long!
Just come clean with your ex, tell her you wanna be together and that she is more important than your friend and thats why you have chosen her...if a girl thinks that another girl is a threat then ur relationship will never work cause otehr women will become a constant issue. there can only be 2 women in your life...your mother and your gf/wife/partner...thats life!!!
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A
female
reader, kellyO +, writes (16 June 2006):
 Hiya, what i am abit confused abour really is if u are still considering have a relationship with your ex-girlfriend so that i would know what kind of advise to give. If i were ex-girlfriend though i also wouldnt be too keen on your close female friend especially if as u say u have had a sex with her previously.It's natuarlly for anyone to feel jealousif u indeed still have a "close relationship" with this person dont u think u are being a little unfair and inconsiderate. put yourself in her shoes how would u feel?
If u still want a relationship with your ex then i think it will be fair for you to reconsider the relationship u have with this other girl at least u can simmer it down. also let your ex know that u arent really happy with the attention she shows to guys when the two of you have slight disagreements.
Wishing u the best and hope u are able to work things out.
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