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female
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*iddenspace
writes:My friends are amazing fun, and I love them all to pieces. However they always look better than me, wear better clothes, have nicer hair, and generally have a better appearance than I do. Also I'm really dense and say stupid things because I don't really think things through. It's not that I'm not clever it's just I'm really dippy. lol.I just feel that I'm so inferior to my friends and that they will dump me if I don't change. And I want to change. I want to be more attractive and not as dense.What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chirpychicken +, writes (16 June 2006):
 you dont have to do anything! you're just you! i sometimes feel like that but then i ask myself why? and just get on with it. im dippy and say stupid things all the time but thats why my mates love me because I make them laugh. don't make an issue out of it just laugh it off!
stop being so worried about stuff like that as if these friends of yours didnt like you, they wouldnt be your friends. they obviously love you for who you are and if they dont they aren't worth the time of day. You sound like a great laugh. dont worry your fine as you are!!
better than being like everyone else and boring eh?? thats what i say!
hope this helps
M x :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2006): If it makes you feel any better, Your situation sounds exactly like me! Im always saying stupid things because i dont think first and to me, all my friends always look better than me no matter how hard i try lol!
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female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 June 2006):
 dera reader there's only one thing you can do "NOTHING" you are who you are and i bet your friends love you to bits too don't ever be ashamed of who you are there's nothing wrong with you at all if people do have a problem with it then let them deal with it. being dippy don't mean your a bad person it means quite the opposite "fun" you can give people a laugh and if you don't take it in a way that they are affending you you could have so much fun. now you say you don't think things through then all i can say to that is just slow down a little make things clear in your mind what people are talking about or whatever situation your in then you'll be the one with the whitty punchline.
hold your head up high and say " i am who i am and what you se is what you get" have fun with life
i wish you all the best xxx
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Just be your self
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Confidence confidence confidence. You have friends therefore you bring something to the table. These people don't care about what you wear or what you say as dippy as you think it is. They look past those things and into your heart. As long as you are a friend thats there when you need them. Think about it if they wore a certain outfit or said something off the wall would you care about them any less. You don't have to be were they are just be there when they are. Good Luck.
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female
reader, Smiler +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Hey Sweetie
I think you sound great not at all dippy :o) thats the first thing but other than that i feel as yos says its low self esteem and lack of confidense,you sound like a lovely person and have a great personality so don't beat yourself up sweetie your probably the only one thinking the negative things all your friends love you for the person you are not what your trying to be just be yourself honey people will see straight though you and respect you less if you try to pretend to be something your not... they are your friends for a reason they like you alot enjoy spending time with you and having fun so why would you want to change this, every day when you wake up look in the mirror and pay yourself a little compliment and something you like about yourself... do it everyday without fault never forget.. do it for about a month you will start to believe in yourself and give yourself that confidense boost that you need, people will see the difference in you and so will you you'll be able to see it yourself trust me it really does work wonders that little bit of self belief will work wonders.... i think you are a cracking person so keep smiling and being yourself ok...
I hope my advice was able to help you out with your situation sweetie and good luck with this... if you ever need a friend or a chat or just more advice don't hesitate to email me sweetie, I would love to hear from you again and know how you got on... Remember i'm always here for you anytime ok
You Take Care Sweetie X
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Hello. It sounds to me like you could be suffering from low self esteem. This is a very common problem that lots of people have: basically it means that you generally feel worse than and less than most of the people around you.
One of the ways to tell if you have low self esteem is to listen to your inner voice and see what it is telling you. When you want to do something, is this voice (its usually 'just' a feeling) telling you that you can't do it, or that you won't do it well, or that you'll look silly doing it, or something similar. This is low self esteem. If you have normal or high self esteem then the voice is instead saying things like 'go ahead, it'll be fun' or 'you can do that well' etc.
This is a good post on the subject:
http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/1202.html
Try google'ing 'low self-esteem' and reading about it to see if you think you might have it. If you do, I suggest you consider going to see a therapist or councillor. I know it probably sounds like overkill to see a therapist, but quite a few of my friends (and my girlfriend) suffer from low self esteem and seeing a therapist for them has been the best single step they have taken towards improving their lives.
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (12 June 2006):
 I'm sure you're a lovely person and they wouldn't be friends with you if you weren't. Friendships aren't fashion shows or intelligence competitions, it's just a group of people from all backgrounds, not matter how you look, how clever you are etc, being close and you're very lucky to have that.
If your friends ever did leave you because you weren't as pretty as them or as clever as them, they are certainly not friends at all. They are users, as real friends don't care about all that, they care about personality, loyalty and trust.
Dippy people are the best people!!! Nobody likes a know-it-all, do they? Your friends are still around so don't worry, they must like you as you are. As you get older, you'll realise that these things don't matter at all.
You need to chill out and just be yourself. If these are real friends, they'll stick by you through thick and thin and if they don't, you know they are not worth it anyway. Good luck
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