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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfreind and I was checking his e mail when I saw a folder and asked him to open it. Inside was pictures. One of his ex...Knowing that I saw them and was upset he didn't even delete it. Does that mean that he's still holding on to her and I should probably end it? I need advice...beacuse I'm so in love with this guy but sometimes I feel as if something is on his mind and it's not me.
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male
reader, Astaroth +, writes (19 June 2006):
 unless they're like nude photos or something there's nothing to worry about. Honestly, most people including myself keep photos. Maybe it's just good memories or something...
A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 It is his PAST!! He is allowed to have a past isn't he?
Work on your insecurity and try to figure out what makes you feel so threatened by a mere photgraph......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2006): I think you're being unreasonable. My girlfriend still has photos of her ex. Who cares? If you have a relationship built on trust, you should have no problem. If you can't trust him, now thats another matter.
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A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (19 June 2006):
 I wouldnt really hang someone for keeping photos. Ive got photos of my ex dotted around, half i dont even know why, they are just there! Its just something that happend previously and dont really mean anything, just collect dust i suppose! My bf has a bag of photos, some of which he has shown to me others he hasnt. We have been together 3 years and the same bag that has the photos in is on top of the wardrobe, he just keeps it as its his past and thats it, ive never really bothered about it it just stays there and neither of us really bother about it. Its just one of those things, if your partner is that relaxed about it its a good thing, and its also a good thing to be able to accept that he had an ex and a past. I wouldnt worry too much its normal to keep things, and so long as hes not reffering to it every 5 seconds and seems to be mopping about it then its not a big deal. If hes behaving a bit differently then ask the question. But its likely that you think he is behaving differently beause your the one with the hang up hun! Put it out of your mind, hes with you.. if you really think hes mind is else where you need to speak to him, but its proably more your anguish about his ex if anything. Relax a bit and try not to worry.
take care xx
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (19 June 2006):
 I don't think it's reasonable for you to expect someone to delete photos of their ex. Photos are there to record the past.
However if he's spending a lot of time looking through them, then perhaps something is going on. Talk to him about it if it really bothers you.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (19 June 2006):
 The fact that he opened it in front of you indicated perhaps he forgot it was there or is not a big deal.
I have photo's of my ex in a box in my wardrobe. I am well over him but I still have them. Doesn't mean I'm in love with him still.
It's normal to keep some photos - I would be worried if they were all around his house on the walls etc but one in an email folder is not the end of the world.
However, if you do feel that his mind is somewhere else and you are not his focus, maybe its time you sat him down and had a good conversation about the relationship and where it is going.
You need to talk to him about this one.
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