| A
male
,
*lqq
writes: I have been maried with 2 children happy for 7 years 100% faithful and like wise on my wifes end until the other night she called me the next day crying telling me when she went to a concert that another man kissed her and then she kissed him back and not just a little peck on the lips I am in the military we are currently living apart for the next 10 months I feel like some one stuck a knife in my back and betrayed me but I tell my self it was only a kiss or was it. she admits to being drunk and not remembering much of the night this scares me but she was honest and told me the next day and is very upset as I am to. what do I do can I trust her should I be concerned I need some feed back please
View related questions:
drunk, military Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (13 June 2006):
 dear reader. the whole relationship should be built on trust and honesty. now she may have been honest with you but are you sue you can trust her the next time you stay away from home or she goes out i'm not trying to make things look worse but you need to be clear in your mind of when you see her next. on her part it is very hard to be away from the person you love she obviously missed you very much and want you not anyone else but you know what its like when your drunk but i think if things did go further she would have remembered and told you that too i'm betting that she feels terrible about this and hopefully it will all blow over
but i wish you all the best and good on you for being a military man
good luck xxx
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 That's tough to handle. You should take heart from the fact that your wife called you up straight away and told you what happened honestly! That really shows she doesn't want to mislead you and regrets what happened. Hard as it sounds, the best thing you can do is to trust her and know that she wouldn't want to break up your family.
If she wants to try to make it up there are things she can do to help you. The most important is probably just to have a lot of contact with you, letting you know what she is up to very frequently, and that she's thinking of you. That will go a long way to making you feel a bit more secure so you can rebuild your trust. If it seems like she wants to help you handle it, I'd recommend asking her to trying doing that. Lots of emails, text messages, photos and so on. It's almost impossible for her to overdo this in the short term: the more the better.
What you have to watch out for is catching yourself thinking too many negative thoughts like 'I wonder if she's out now, maybe she's getting drunk?'. These kinds of thoughts can get stuck in your head and make life really unpleasant. If you find you can't get thoughts like that out of your head and that they are making you feel bad, you need to take further action. But hopefully it won't get that bad.
Being away from your family has to be one of the toughest parts of being a soldier. I saw a documentary about the second world war recently where they showed all the flyers that each side would drop on the other: they were written as nastily as possible suggesting that the soldiers partners weren't staying faithful to them. That must have been really hard to handle for some. Maybe that still goes on?
Good luck, I hope it works out for you
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2006): You're obviously concerned. At the very least, your wife did come out to tell you what she did. However, the thing about being drunk is ALWAYS a convenient excuse to do things people shouldn't be doing.
FIRST and lastly, why did she get drunk at a place without her husband?
Whether you want to give her a second chance or not, is ultimately up to you. To trust someone back, it always takes time. MOST people feel as though they can never trust their partners back because they don't give them time to try to prove themselves they can be faithful. On the otherhand, even if some Agony Aunts/Uncles may argue she felt lonely and all that bullshit, I believe that your wife put herself in that position.
Again, she needn't be drunk at a concert.
...............................
|
