A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Is it OK to wear blck bras?My mum got me one the other day while I was at shcool, but girls in my class really frown upon it.I don't want to hurt my mum's feelings, that's all. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lotsofgiggles123  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 maybe you should break it to your mom if you really dont like but if you do like it go stand up to the girls maybe break gently to you freinds who are girls i mean the same thing happend to me and im around the point of your age all i did was stand up to them but uh broke it gently to my friends who are girls hope this helps bye!(wait did you sighn up on dearcupid?)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): IT's ok to wear a black bra. u don't need to see your friends ideas. you just need to know if you like the bra.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008): Do YOU like your new bra?
If you do, then who cares what the other girls think? It's YOUR opinion that counts.
If you don't like your new bra, why not ask your mum that next time she goes out to buy a bra, you can come with her. That way you get to choose a bra you like and maybe avoid those stupid people being all snobby!
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A
female
reader, amazing! +, writes (23 December 2007):
 firstly why do the girls frown at it? is it the wrong size?
anyway there's no need 2 b embarrased just go up 2 your mum and say it out loud (try it when she is alone) "mum can i get some new bras" or "mum i seriously need a different bra".
just think of other items you may need (sox,jeans) and when youre shopping just casually add bras to your list!
your mum will understand she once may have wanted more bras. or of course there's always the option of going to the mall with your mates!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also relise that you are anon. too.How do i know that you have children?How do I know that you are who you say you are?How do I know if your gay or anything?You don't like your name on the internet - Niether do I.I have spent ages trying to get advice but instead I get a man (if you are a man) telling me that he doesn't trust me and that I'm a danger to children around me.Thanks a million.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've just re-read some of these:"So, miss anonymous No 2 - how do we know you are who you say you are? How do us fathers know if your a lesbian? I wouldn't want you trying to indoctinate MY daughter with your perversions if youwere one! That to my mind would be sick!"I was really hurt because I thought this sight was for people with advice and for people who need help. not for wild accusations at girls with problems. I am 11 years old and my birthday is in February, I can't believe you think I'd try to hurt or "Indocicate" anyone or thing.As for "Us fathers" fat lot of good you'll do if you try and to stop someone being who they are.I'm not sure if I want to return to this site if there are this type of people on here.Goodbye.To the creators of Dear Cupid,I think you should vet your answers more carefully.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to you all.I think some of you are a bit too keen to put me in frilly knickers and ankle socks - I am a very mature girl and I know quite a bit anyway before I found this site.Just to say, thanks for the advice - I decided because we wear blue blouses to wear vests underneath my blouse because it doesn't show up as much as my new bra.And I was wondering how some the guys (Uncle Phil) knew what they knew...just pondering,Cheers.Btw, I like the name Miss Anonymous, it's sounds quite jazzy!
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (17 December 2007):
 Miss Anonymous... We are not egging this girl on to go and have sex. We are simply giving her a confidence boost so she can stand up to the inconsiderate girls in her class. At 12 it is hard to 'not take any notice' of criticism from your classmates, as you suggest she should. At 12, I'm sure you were not so pure-minded and 'innocent' as you make out. Get real.
I think Uncle Phil gave a good answer. A 12 year old girl doesn't want to be told what is 'sensible'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): So, miss anonymous No 2 - how do we know you are who you say you are? How do us fathers know if your a lesbian? I wouldn't want you trying to indoctinate MY daughter with your perversions if youwere one! That to my mind would be sick!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): When one considders the genral content of this sight, I find it quite sikening that any responsable parent would permit their 10 year old daughter to access it. But I supose most parents these days haven't got a clue what their kids are up to either in the house or out, and care even less.
Why shuldn't men answer questions from a 10 year old girl anyway? Men can be parents and confidants as well, some of them single parents. So is what you're saying, miss anonymous, that if a girl asks her (single) father a question such as this he should ignore her and tell her to go ask her grandma or the women across the street? If so, that's a very puritan-ish attitude that belong in the first part of the last century. Perhaps your atitude is that men should be seen and not herd? Conversly, does that also mean that women should not reply to questions from boys?
I must say, miss anonymous, I've never read such a stupid comment as yours before! I think you should get off your high horse and come back down to earth. Either that, or go and be ill somewhere else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2007): u dont need to say anything to your mum as she hasnt done anything wrong. just tell the girls to mind their own business, who has a right to tell you what to wear? you can wear what you like! =)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): black bras are the sexiest colour undies to wear
what are the girls saying?
at least you have something to put in them
girls are just jealous things thats the way life goes.
dont worry about it.
=]
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): tell your mum it wont hurt her feelings. she will realised they are just immature little girls making a fuss over something they will laugh about in a few years time
dont worry so much
what they think or the colour of your bra really wont affect your life in the long term. i promise x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): Let me guess - the ones doing the bitching are also the ones that don't have anything to put in a bra? Except a couple of socks perhaps?
Ignore them and they'll go away. Oh - and I absolutely agree with the others here!
One more thing - I bet the boys aren't doing any bitching. But maybe that's it - you're the one getting some attention and your classmates aren't?
Phil
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (16 December 2007):
 You have to wear a bra, who cares what color it is??? And why do your girlfriends care so much about what you have under your shirt? Black bras are sensible, everyone needs a black bra and a nude bra and a fun colored bra.
I know you're young and I guess new bras are pretty exciting. Maybe your friends are just jealous that your Mom bought you a black bra - after all, they are pretty fashionable and look amazing.
Keep the black bra and ignore your friends.
xx India
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): You should wear it. You like it, then wear it. I know its hard not to let what the other girls say get to you. But you shouldn't let then be the ones to approve everything you wear. Its you choice only.
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A
female
reader, Mushgirl +, writes (16 December 2007):
I think black bras are the sexiest bras...! But then again, what with you being 10-12 and all, you might be more concerned about practicality.
Anyway! Probably the reason other girls 'frown on it' is because it shows through your school shirt, which is probably white, right? So I guess (and as it's winter and sooo cold here) you won't get too hot if you wear a white vest over your bra (but under your shirt of course!), so it's a bit less visible.
Are they being mean to you about it or are they just trying to give you 'helpful advice'? If they're picking on you, next time try saying something along the lines of "Why are you staring at my boobs anyway?" (unless of course you think it would backfire on you with more bitchiness).
If you're ok with wearing a black bra, then tell them you really couldn't care less about what colour yours is, and they should stop caring so much about other people's underwear.
It's probably just happening because as you're so young a lot of girls your age have only just started wearing bras, so it's a really new and thrilling thing for them to pretend they know everything about. In year or so nobody will care any more.
If it really bugs you, try telling your mum. Was it an expensive bra? You know your mum better than most, so try to judge whether she'd get hurt if you said you don't want to wear it to school. Explain to her why! She's been a schoolgirl once too, she'll probably understand.
God... bras are so complicated sometimes! Good luck! :) xxx
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A
female
reader, Maxine17  +, writes (16 December 2007):
 Wear what you want to wear! Be proud of who you are. If you like the bra then wear it! Don't let other girls bring you down! If the problem continues then talk to your mom about it and tell her what is happening! Don't let people bring you down. In the end you'll start hating yourself! ask me I know!! I've had the sae problem! When the girls comment on the bra look at them with confidence and say thanks... Don't forget to smile.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): personally, i think black bras are sexy, and much more stylish than white! but, if it really bugs you, I would say something like you're scared to wear it or feel uncomfortable because people have been hurting your feelings about it. or, if you don't want to bring it up and hurt your mom's feelings why dont' you wear the bra on weekends?
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