A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for nearly 2 1/2 years now and everything was great, couldnt ask for anything more so i decided to ask her to marry me (im 21), she said yes. My problem is that since i proposed about 1yr ago ive been feeling like i want a break, to see other people, but everytime i think about doing it i picture her, how she would ack and me feeling bad thus not ending our relationship.She loves me very very much, and i love her too, but i dont want to be in the same relationship forever just yet. and i think its better for us to end it soon, then wait years down the line and get a divorce or what not. Im also worried she would hurt herself because of how sad she will be when we split, what should i do???
View related questions:
a break, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, help needed  +, writes (11 December 2007):
i was engaged 2 years ago aged 20. we had da whole wedding planned and everything, then i started to freak out and wanted to try different relationships and stuff. i felt like i was missing out on everything so broke it all off. after 2 years of not being with him iv realised i want him back but its too late now he has found someone else. you need to ask yourself if its just cos u think ur missin out. an if its worth chancing everything u have to find out.if you definately want to end it though it would be better for you both if you end it now rather than when its too late.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (7 December 2007):
 I'll give you some Maths to help you wotk it out.
1 unhappy person marrying 1 happy person = 2 unhappy people
Break up with her now = sadness x 1
Break up with a planned wedding date = (sadness x 3) + family problems.
Break up with her when married = (sadness x 5) + family problems + financial problems + wasted time.
Richard
...............................
A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Since you do love her, but you want to have a break, and try freedom and live your life, simply ask her for a pause and reflecttion. It will be less hurting.
Tell her you love her but need some distance and break.
Do not close the door to her but do not keep her hoping or waiting.
But my guess is after the break you will miss her and go back to her. May be it is better this way.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (7 December 2007):
 Don't marry someone because you feel bad. Don't marry someone because you feel like you can't get out of it and because you're worried you'll hurt her. What'll hurt more is a few years down the road when you can't take it any more and ask for a divorce.
It will be better for you if you say something now than later. Bite the bullet and let her know.
Good luck, sweetness!
xxIndia
...............................
A
female
reader, without_reason +, writes (7 December 2007):
 You should never be in a relationship where you're not happy..
You need to have a talk with her, and explain how you feel.. as for her hurting herself.. I doubt she would. Of course, she may get upset at first.. but some relationships end, and she will understand this.
Let her know that anything can happen in the future, and that you'll always be there for her :] you're just not ready for such a commitment yet.
Hope this helps :] x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2007): wellll you dident say if you have already married her if you haven't just say you were thinking and you may need some more time to think about it say it gently though she might feel hurt but marriage is a big thing.
...............................
|
