A
female
age
30-35,
*.danica
writes:When my mom was 16 she had her first child. which was my older brother who is now 32 and got a 7 month old baby of his own, which is my neice and he has a wife. I am now 16, 17 in september and I have been suffering from depression since I was 13 because of a something that happened.i got pregnant 3 weeks before my birthday and ended up having a abortion 9weeks into my pregnancy because my mom didnt agree with me having a child and would not talk to me. The abortion was so painful. But now every time im with my neice i get uncomfrtable or upset when im around children i dont think il ever be the same until i have a child.I have thought things through and the only way i am going to get over it is by having a baby. i do not agree with abortions and never have, never will, now i have gone against my beliefs.I love my mother but know i have made the wrong choice, if i got pregnant now i wud have my beautiful baby when i have finished school as it would be due in november december times. i do not care whether its a girl or a boy as long a it is mine and my boyfriends.Should i? or should i not go for it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): No.In your current emotional state, I would mot advise trying for a child.You said yourself, the only reason you even want to get pregnant now is to replace the baby you murdered at the request of your mother.This is not the right mindset at all. You cannot just replace something you lost with something else. It won't change what happened. It won't bring that child back.All it will do is bring a new life into this world. And in your current state, you are not fit for raising a child. Hell, at your age, I would advise against even if you were the most level-headed person on the planet.Just give it a rest for now and re-visit these desires in a few years.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, a.danica +, writes (19 February 2009):
a.danica is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answers guys and thank you TasteOfIndiaI know what your saying but i really think i can cope, my boyfriend has got quite a large family and so have i.I am not into non of that clubbing business or even going out i love staying in my house and cleaning. There are alot of clubs here in b'ham UK where ilive for under 18sz and they let anyone in over 18sz now a day but i never go to any. i hate going outside, because there is nothing to do anymore iknow im still a kid but i feel ive made a big mistake and that this is the only way to fix it.I missed two years off school but still passed my gcse's that ive already done and in business and ict i got A*'s and A's which im proud of but a few more exams to do. thanks for all your advice.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 Hello, my darling...
Oh, I want to give you a hug. I understand why you want a baby, but sometimes even though you really, really want something you need to grit your teeth and do what's best for you, your body and future child - wait until your life is a little more solid before you have a baby.
It sounds like you need to see a therapist or find someone who you can really talk to. You clearly have spent the last years of your life hurting. In the meantime, why not talk to your boyfriend about getting married or saving up money for your future child? It sounds like your Mom isn't too keen on the idea of you having a child, and the financial support of you and your baby could fall on your shoulders. I'm assuming you're not independently insured, so you could be looking at 10,000+ in the 9 months of your pregnancy and delivery.
I'm not saying that you won't make a good Mom or shouldn't have a baby, ever. But I am saying that you really want to be able to take care of that baby sufficiently, and you also don't want to lose out on your own life. You are about to be out of school, perhaps out of the house and you'll be able to enjoy your life much more than you have been.
Good luck, my sweet.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): dont do it your not ready you think it will be a solution and it really wont be. wait until your married . but before you do that you need to go see a therepist because you will have so many problems later in life if you dont. you need to work on your emotional side with a therepist first . get yourself healthy first.
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A
male
reader, jam jar +, writes (19 February 2009):
 do you not think that your to young to handle a baby? if you want a baby that badly and if you think you can cope then you shouldnt need to ask anyone elses opinion (except your boyfriend).
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