A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:alright, to set it off, im bi, currently liking girls. problem is choosing between two of them.alright, heres the scenerio, basically, im torn between two ladies.when we start to look for significant others, we have certain "ideals" right? most of the time, we have to let go of those ideals, or some of them, because its impossible to find someone who fits them all? or do we? One girl, lets call her Z, well shes not the type of person i wouldve seen myself with a year ago. shes fun, wild, unpredictable..and then shes intelligent, driven and beautiful, shes also two years older than me. alright, ive always wanted someone to be able to talk abt politics books and school, and also have fun with, and with her i can; theres always something fun around every corner with her. The thing is, i can never be sure with her, shes too unpredictable, and too crazy sometimes.then theres C, well lets call her that anyway. She fits my ideals perfectly, shes smart, poetic, caring, athletic...almost like a safety blanket...like she fits every ideal, and shes two years younger than me. alright...well, when i do talk to her, i cant seem to get Z outta my head..i dont know if its that she fits all my ideals, or if shes just boring. and then for some reason, im still very attracted to her.im torn between my safety, and that wildness i never thought i would be attracted to...im sooo confused...a little input and thoughts would be much apperciated.thanks for taking the time n reading thisxox Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 February 2009):
 If you can't get Z out of your head, then it's obvious who to choose. You're young, and you should be with someone who you are just totally excited about. You've got the rest of your life to choose the "safe" choice.
However, back in school I was stuck between two guys. One wild, guy - a lot like Z. He was just so exciting and charming, and it was always a big whirlwind adventure with him. Not to mention, the sexual chemistry was that much hotter. The other guy was like C, he was sweet, romantic, almost boring. He was stable. Dependable.
Well, I chose Z in the end - and I'll say this... we had a lot of fun, but he ended up really breaking my heart - as those wild ones do - and I always wished I had gone for the stable one. However, I had an awful lot of fun with my Z and I wouldn't trade those memories for anything.
With Z, you'll probably get lots of highs and lots of lows. With C, you'll probably stay right in the middle. Depending what you want right now in your life - a stable, serious, reliable companionship/relationship, or a whole lot of fun - that will give you your answer.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, lilly123  +, writes (22 February 2009):
 The fact that you call C your safety says it all and from the way you talk about Z i would say you are more into her. Everyone does have a certain type of person that they think they should be with but when you meet someone that makes your life more exciting you should go with it because life is too short and you should enjoy it while you can. You have to ask yourself who means the most to you, who is the one you think about the most. In your heart you know who you should be with because they are like you said "ideal" but they arnt always the one we wont, you just have to think about it carefully because only you no wont you wont. Goodluck and let me no what u decide to do.
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