A
female
age
41-50,
*ost Canadian
writes:I am going to try to make this quick...I am writing because I need advice very soon. My situation is down to the eleventh hour so to speak. I am pregnant and have had a change of heart,I think??? I really think I want to have this baby and know it is not something I will be supported in by the father or my family. I am terrified and just need some thoughts on the matter no matter what they may be. I have been with my partner for almost 2 years and things have gone well until now. I am scared maybe I should just do this so everyone will be satisfied with the outcome.I don't know what the right thing is here I don't have time to wait,my appt is Fri with the seaweed to be started Thurs aft(this opens the cervix) today is Tuesday....I need advice,something anything...please!
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abortion, cervix Reply to this Question
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male
reader, gumbbo  +, writes (19 February 2009):
There are many support groups out there with people like you, get looking on the net. Also if they think you're having the baby and thats that, i think you'll find they get used to it and accept. Would your mother really not support you when the baby is born? If you honestly think not then you do not have a very good mother - sorry but thats what i think. People will get used to the idea. If you want it have it!!!
A
female
reader, Lost Canadian +, writes (18 February 2009):
Lost Canadian is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank you all for responding. I know I am old enough to make the choice on my own...I am however very confused which is why I wrote here.Yes my partner and family know about the pregnancy,my partner really won't talk about it...I have tried writing letters,talking in person,on the phone it's like he is hoping if he doesn't talk about it it will just go away.....sounds crazy but it's true. He just won't talk about it except to say that it is a very messed up situation,well obviously I know that! But really that is ALL he has said to the matter.My family just thinks I should continue with my career and that I am too much of a free spirit to have a baby and think it would be a bad idea and have told me they don't in any way support the idea, they refuse to discuss it any further.I know this is my decision,but these are my support networks and I am not silly enough to think I won't need any support system after the baby is here.I know I can't make my partner or family talk about this,but I am so unsure of anything right now,I mean I have got more response here from total strangers.I am not sure if I can handle a baby with very few supports. I know there is the adoption option as well,and I know it sounds so selfish, it is selfish,but I don't think I could do it....I hope this update has helped clarify some things?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I'm a pro-choicer, but firmly believe that you should do what your heart tells you, not anyone else. Don't have an abortion for other people in your life, it is your child, your body, your life. They will not have to live with the emotional consequences that may or may not hit you after the fact. You should only have an abortion if you feel completely good about it and at peace with it.
I think you need to have another talk with the father and your family... most importantly, yourself.
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A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (18 February 2009):
Listen, you are not a teenager, you are a grown woman. If you feel a baby is something you are ready for then go for it, don't let anyone talk you out of it. That is your little baby remember when he/she is born, nothing else will matter especially not what "everyone will be satisfied with".
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (18 February 2009):
 PLEASE DONT KILL YOUR CHILD! remember there is also the option of adoption. There is a reason you are having a change of heart, you are meant to have this baby. Start planning now what you will do financially if you can only depend on yourself but also keep in mind that the father of the child is legally responsible and you can go after him for money. start puting money away now for when the baby comes, look into parts of town that are safe and affordable where you might raise the baby.................DONT GO THROUGH WITH THE ABORTION PLEASE. We can move mountains if we are determined enough, things will be ok
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A
male
reader, Tomas +, writes (18 February 2009):
It may help you get better advice, if we know
(a) whether your partner and your parents know about your pregnancy
(b) if they know, what they have said. if they don't, what leads you to believe they would not support you.
(c) whether your feeling is mainly wanting to keep/raise the baby, or mainly not having an abortion (the "third option" of adoption often comes up in these questions), or some of both.
Don't be scared, I know your situation is very difficult, but I'm sure you'll get a lot of advice here, which will help you think things through yourself.
(big hug)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2009): If you truly feel that you want to keep the baby, cancel the abortion NOW. Do NOT have an abortion just because everyone else wants you to. You must do what YOU need to do. You are the pregnant one, no one else is.
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A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (18 February 2009):
 I have never had an abortion nor been in this type of situation, but I do have a sister who lost a baby and know how devastating it is. You can't have an abortion just because of your family. You know in your heart what is right. And btw I am not against abortion either. I would never make such a drastic, irreversible decision, unless I was absolutely sure it is what I wanted to do. You should do the same. This will change your life either way. If your boyfriend can't support your decision then I can't say much for how "great" of a guy he is. Think about the pro's and con's but ultimately I think you coming on here telling us you don't want to do it is enough to tell you not to do it... Tell your boyfriend about your change of heart but don't let anyone persuade you into doing this if it is not what you want to do. Like I said, you know what is right for you in your heart. Don't make a mistake you will regret for the rest of your life. Good luck. Feel free to email me if you ever need to.
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