A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I knew my best friend's fiance before they got together. He is extremely attractive but when he was single I had a boyfriend. I have since split up with my boyfriend. I live in London and regularly make trips up North to see my best friend. Her fiance is always there and looks as buff as ever. One night, my best friend got so badly drunk that she passed out and had to be carried to bed. I stayed up with her fiance, we watched films and carried on drinking. After a while we were both quite drunk. Then I did something silly. I told him that I've always fancied him and I'd love to have sex with him just once. Being both drunk we ended up having sex all over the living room for at least a couple of hours. I was so excited, I let him do things to me that I would have never let my previous boyfriend do. It was the most amazing sex I've ever had.In the morning we had both come to our senses and agreed that it was a massive mistake and that it would never happen again. I'm on the pill so luckily I didn't fall pregnant. But it did happen again, when I went to visit and we ended up drunk. I feel so guilty that we agreed that I shouldn't visit for a while and if I do then he will go out to a friend's house. But I'm worried that my best friend will find out. I already feel really guilty, should I just come clean or just know that it was a silly mistake and never let it happen again?
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best friend, drunk, fiance, split up, the pill Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Well, he's not likely to tell her and I doubt you will so I'd guess your little sectret is fairly safe provided both of you never say a word about it to anyone else.
Drink loosens one's inhibitions somewhat, and if you two were having sex for a couple of hours at a time there's no way he was THAT drunk or he would have been suffering from Distillers Dangle or Brewers Droop. I think you both knew exactly what you were doing, you knew it was wrong and deceitful but you carried on regardless. If you visit again it would be a very good idea for him to disappear for a few hours while you two girls have a chat, but the main thing is to go steady on the booze.
You know very well that you'll be at it like a pair of rabbits whenever you get the chance, so try to avoid being alone together if you've got sufficient willpower. He probably said he'd go out for the evening just so that you'd be lured up there again for more shenanigans so be careful unless you want a boatload of trouble.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): I agree with others, you call her your best friend but best frinds don't have sex with THEIR fiancee on the floor when they put them to bed drunk.Bet that suited the 2 off you to get her so plastered that you would have total privacy.Then a second time,no excuse for that one. SHE deserves to know to save her future heartbreak from this liar and cheat, if he had sex with you her best friend then he would shag anybody given the chance, what a future she has, you will just have to take what ever the outcome is and hope that she forgives you and in the future knows that you saved her future life from a liar. You have to save her and take the chance on your friendship. Learn by your mistakes and give all the things you did to him for someone a bit more worthwhile.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (12 February 2009):
 This was blatently pre meditated, especially the second time anyway. I can unerstand the first time 'kinda' just happening, but what happened the second time, your mate was drunk again & had to be put to bed again, and you 2 just happened to get more drunk again? Hmmmm I bet you made some effort to get the chance again?
Sometimes I say some things are vest left unsaid. Your friend deserves to know the truth because she deserves a better friend and an even better fiance, and then you never know, you might just get your man. Thats what your aiming for really isn't it?
xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Considering it happened twice I think you should tell her about it but be prepared to lose your friendship with her....first I would tell the fiance that if he doesn't tell her about it first, then you have no choice but to do so.....and then let the chips fall where they may.
It is not for you to decide, but they don't sound ready to marry at all, and you know what you are I don't have to say it.
If I were your best friend, you would be my ex friend.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (12 February 2009):
 A silly mistake? That's when you get drunk at a bar and slap a girls ass. That's when you get caught up in a moment and makeout with the hot guy you were behind in coffee line. That's flirting with your friends man. What you did was completely different and far from a mistake.
You and her fiance owe her a confession of what you did. She shouldn't be marrying this cheater and she shouldn't be trusting you. I don't mean to be harsh, but imagine how she will react to this. You both will probably lose her, at least for awhile. Even though you both were drunk, that is no excuse for what you did together. You will be doing her the greatest favor in her life if you do tell her what happened, even though she may not see it as a favor. She can leave this guy before she has to go through a divorce to get rid of him.
I'm not sure who should be the one to tell her. It depends on all of your relationships. Use your best judgment and decide if he tells her, you tell her or you both do (not recommended). Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): What an awful friend you are! being drunk is no excuse. You know what you can do, tell your friend what happened. She deserves to now that the man she's going to marry is cheater and that her friend is someone she cannot trust.
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