A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've posted before about how I hate my name, and I've decided I want to change it. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but I've never been able to identify with the legal name I got. I feel like it's not even my name and I was meant to be named something else. I've hated it all my life and lately it's just been making me crazy. Everywhere I go, I'm constantly tripping over someone with the same FULL name, and it's an insult to have a generic name that so many others share. I feel like some thing that was mass produced with a mold. It's against my better judgement to say this online, but I am NOT a Sara Williams. I feel like some stranger's name got on my birth certificate. It just isn't a name to uniquely identify only me... it was meant for some nobody. It just sounds ugly, like a dissonant chord or someone singing off-key. I cringe when I hear it because to me it may as well be "Mediocre gal." I want a unique name all my own, a name that sparkles. Furthermore, I'm an artist and musician. I don't want to play music as a hobby; eventually I want to take it to the next level... and I want a name that sounds like an artist. I love latin culture and I have Spanish blood... I was so excited and proud when I first found out that I had Spanish ancestry, but now I feel foolish telling people becuase I have a name that sounds so all-American. There's nothing wrong with American, it's just that I identify with latin culture and I want a name that doesn't label me an outsider. That, and I want people to know I have Spanish blood without having to tell them about it, and without the inevitable smart remarks, like : "Yeah, right... and Beyoncé is my sister." I feel foolish telling people. Anyone can claim Spanish heritage, whether they have it or not. I can say that I'm a golden tamarin... it doesn't make me one. You can SAY anything you want! I want to FEEL Spanish. A lot of women at my school are married to latino men and have Spanish surnames and it makes me feel jealous, and a little bit cheated, because I speak perfect Spanish and have Spanish descent, and they get to use a Spanish surname and I can't. It's like watching someone else wear my jewelry. I'm sorry this is kind of windy, but here is my bottom line: I want to change my middle and last name legally because I'm sick and tired of living with a name I hate. I want to be rid of the last name forever. I don't want to just pick some name out of the blue, though. I want a name that I have some connection to. I've decided that I want to take the last name of a Spanish ancestor of mine. Here's the problem: I asked my parents what it was, and they said that there is no one alive today that knows, and that if anyone ever did know, that they're long dead. I want a name that has a connection or meaning for me. I imagine that it's possible for me to trace my family back to Spain, but I don't have the money or the time or patience to invest in the research. A good friend of mine had an idea, to change Williams to the Spanish "Guillermo." He's an awesome friend and it's a brilliant idea, but I want to get rid of the hated surname altogether. There are too many bad memories. I'm just so sick and tired of having a name I hate... it may be next to impossible to find out my Spanish ancestor's name, and I want a name I have some connection with. I realize that if I were to marry I could take my husband's name... but I don't want to. I want a name of my very own! Furthermore, I'm 29 and I have no idea if or when I'll ever get married, and I'm tired of putting up with a name that I hate. I want to be rid of the surname I hate so much now. I don't like the idea of taking my husband's last name, it would make me feel like an appendage of my husband. I wouldn't put down other women for doing that, but all my life, I've just been one of many girls with the same full name. I've never known what it's like to feel like an individual. I want a name and identity of my own. Not many people understand how I feel, but it's making me crazy. I know I want to change my name, I just don't know what to do. I can't explain why I feel the way I feel, but I'm so sick of it. I want a name that feels like my own name and not some generic label.Thanks for listening to me... in advance.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2009): Hiwow you are frustrated arn't you? i understand what you are saying and why..but i don't think it will give you what you need. My name is MARSAY not blood but i am so thankful that another person gave me the gift of their name, and i hope i have taken great care of it. I have no association with this name in identity of blood or culture, but i wear it with pride. It does not give me identity of my character and my roots or who i believe i am....but to not be proud of it would insult the person who gave me it....i could take my irish roots, my gypsy blood , my german roots...my indian roots...my artists name.. ..or i can be ME .... The peron character you are...is what matters.. i am an artist aswell and dancer and the name does not have to match..its the quality of the individual that is important not the name. We know lots of famous exotic names, so what!...it means nothing until we know the person. Individuality COMES FROM WITHIN....NOT A NAME....learn this before you embark on stardom. Your choice!!!!!!!! name changes can be good but for the RIGHT REASON.I do wish you happiness.via con dios.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): Most people are mixed (nothing wrong with that), if you are a Lopez, you are still descended from many people, most of whom probably were not named Lopez.
I'm probably 1/16th of many different nationalities. What you call a mutt... Welsh, Spanish, Irish, I'm sure I'm French, German (Von Steinman or Von Steinberg was a family name, but that may be Dutch) , a little Czechoslovakian (I think), Swedish (or Swiss? not sure), probably Native American (my family has been in North Carolina for many centuries and there were lots of Indians in the area), etc. I'm probably not more than a remote fraciton of everything. There's nothing wrong with the other countries...
I just love latin culture so much, though.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2009): I am really grateful for the answers and support. Taste that is particularly awesome advice.
The trouble is, I just feel torn because I don't WANT to hurt my family, but I don't want to be miserable with a name I hate either.
Also how to go about finding my family name?
Thanks everyone... I'm still confused but it's nice and refreshing to have support from people. :) Most people don't understand why it bothers me.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 February 2009):
 Change it! Change it! Change it! Change it!
(that was supportive chanting, if the tone didn't get across via the world wide web.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): What I meant to say is that, there's a difference between being born, raised in Spain and having Spanish descent. Taking a Spanish ancestor's surname will mean just that, that I have Spanish blood, it's not the same thing as saying I was born, raised there. That's not strange that's the truth. People hear my name and assume I don't have SPanish ancestry at all.
People are always assuming I'm an anglo but I don't see myself as anglo. Nothing wrong with that, it's just... I'm something else.
What bothers me most is being just one of many people with the same name. I want to be the one and only.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): The point of my frustration with the name is that it makes me feel like some dry good that was mass produced out of a mold. I've never felt one of a kind. I'm so sick of being just another girl.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): Loux, to answer your question I was born in USA but I identify more with latin culture. I never really identified with American culture.
I want people to know that I have Spanish blood. I wasn't born and raised in Spain, I am from Florida, but I have Spanish blood, but I feel foolish telling people because they accuse me of making it up.
The real problem here, is that I hate the name because it's ugly, I don't identify with it, it's generic. I feel like people need to have a sense of individuality, and it sucks to go through life with a name that is so generic that I feel like a nobody. I want a name that is unique enough to give me a sense of individuality... I could write more, but this is my point.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (11 February 2009):
You know, my best friend changed her name when we decided to randomly move across the country. I loved her old name (Caroline), but she hated it with a passion. She said it never fit her, never felt right. So she changed it (to Alethea, if you were curious)... now for 3 years, I've had a best friend Allie. She is so much happier and hey, I love her new name too.
On the other side of the situation, I had a buddy named Kayla Rae, and I thought her name was fantastic. Then she just recently changed it to Max. I'm not sure why. No, it's not my favorite name, I think her old name was much, much more glamorous and amazing, but guess what? It's none of my business and I'll call her Max if that's what she wants to be called.
End of the story, your name is your name. You can do whatever the hell you want to it. If I recall a particular episode of "Friends", Phoebe changed her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. See? You can be whoever you want it to be. I personally think that "Guillermo" is a clever last name change, but it's up to you.
As for people giving you crap or making smartass remarks about your name, well... my name is Michael, like the boys name. Every single day, people who don't know me say snarky things like "are you really a boy?" or "why don't you change it to Michelle?" or "were your parents on drugs when you were born?". I love my name and yet the rest of the world, apparently, isn't ready for it. You get used to it. You'll come up with good comebacks for all the haters. The bottom line is - it's your name. Nobody can give you any crap, because it's legally attached to you. I've got an odd name, but I love it like crazy. I've become attached to it, just like you will to your new name. Besides, unusual names make good conversation starters.
I say go for it. You deserve a name that you love and you can claim as your own.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2009): 2 days ago, I would have Told you how isolating and lonely it is to have an EXTREMELY unusual name, but yesterday, I met someone with my name and because it was an unknown thing for both of us, it was really amazing!
Before that I would have killed for a name like sara williams and to feel like I could fit in. I'm guessing you don't get such a buzz from meeting another sara williams, lol.
After reading this, you DO strike me as a rather unique person who was meant to have a rather unique name, so the answer is simple. It's your name, it's your choice. I have two words for you.
Registry Office.
2 more - Good luck :)
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