A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 14 years old. and my boyfriend is 15 and i love him and loves me too.and i want to have sex with him but im scared that my family will think that i am a hoe.what should i do? i really want to have sex with him because i love him how should i tell the people i love?help me! please? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (27 April 2009):
 Your parents won't think you're a "hoe" if you're trying to make a responsible and safe decision. They might still be a little shocked (their baby girl is growing up), and they might tell you that it's too early and that you'll have to wait until you're ready (in which case, they're your parents and really do know what's best in some cases. They know you better than we do!).
But, I think if you go to them with an educated - or at least, ready to learn attitude, you'll earn a lot of bonus points. Be sure that you go with your Mom (or Dad if you feel more comfortable) to a doctor to talk about birth control options and to give you pamphlets about how to completely protect yourself from disease... pregnancy. Tell them how much you love your fella, how long you've been together and how you've really talked about going this extra step in your relationship. Maybe your parents will see how adult you're being by talking to them about losing your virginity without going behind their back.
Lastly, I think it's VERY important that you let your parents really get to know your boyfriend. If he wants to have sex with you, he's got to be classy enough to meet your parents first and be on his best behavior. Invite him over or out to dinner with your folks. Let your parents see why you think he's worthy of you!
You ARE young. And without knowing you, your lifestyle, your boyfriend, your family... from a life of experiences (mine and friends), and a long time answering questions on Dear Cupid, you should think about waiting for another couple years to have sex. You have your entire life to have sex. Once you have done it, you have done it and there's never going back to a world of just being happy playing around on 1st, 2nd, even 3rd base. Sex comes with a LOT of responsibilities, anxieties, relationship issues and really can ruin a life as much as it can bring fun. Having a child is great, but you'll lose your fun and freedom forever. let's not even start on what a disease can do to you!!
Okay, done with the lecture. Wow, I went on. Sorry. Anyhow, good luck talking to your parents, I think that is a super smart decision!! xx oo
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): hi! im 15 and my girlfriend is 14. since 6months we have sex. first we didnt tell our parents about it. then her mother found it out. she wasnt very angry. she said that its just normal. if you really love your boyfriend sex just happens sometimes. dont plan it or anything like that^^ but please use condoms! thats very important!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 I agree with bobbles32: this isn't the sort of thing I would discuss with my parents. Sex is your thing, not something that needs anybody's approval.
However, sex at 14 is a very bad idea. I was 14 once, and I know why you want it and all that, but you should wait. Having sex is not just a matter of using contraception, or the day-after pill. There's a lot more to it. A girl of 14 and a boy of 15 should wait. Your parents would agree with me, you know it, and that is why you're afraid what they would think.
By the way, and without any intention of making any people upset, whores are people too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2009): I think it's great that you want to discuss it with your parents before you take this step. That said, why do you want to do it? Is it to get help going on the pill? Or is it that you want the counsel from adults?
Start with the parent with whom you have the better relationship. Get them alone, maybe by having them drive you somewhere or going for a walk. Explain how you're sure you're in love and that it's the right step. Explain that you understand the consequences (pregnancy, STDs, and the emotions involved) and how you intend to deal with each of them (contraception, safe sex, and ...).
If you do that, there is no way you'll be seen as a whore. That's not to say that they may not try to talk you out of it. But I'm sure that going to them up front will earn you their respect.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (26 April 2009):
 do you need to tell your family you want to have sex? in my family we usually keep that stuff to ourselves.. you could ask your mom to make an appointment for you so you can discuss the birth control pill with your doctor.
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