A
male
age
41-50,
*ender_81
writes:Me and this girl I really like got back together on Monday the 4th and the same day she found out a good friend got killed in a car accident. Everything was fine and I took off work and went up there with her and we were okay till Saturday. After Saturday she acted like she wanted nothing to do with me at all which I kinda understand and we talked on the way back home and she told me that we were fine. I talked to her last night the 13th and she still told me that everything was fine and that she would work on the issues we are having and that she needed time to get over her friend dying. The main issue being my clinginess which I am already trying to work on but it is hard cause I haven’t been in a relationship for 6 years. I can’t help but feel that I have already screwed thing up and have ruined any chance I may have had with her, not to mention that it seems like everytime we try to have a relationship something comes along and gets in the way and then we don’t talk for days on end. I have told her about why I was so clingy up there and told her how I feel and that I haven’t been in a relationship in 6 years. It almost seems like none of this really matters to her. I really don't know what to do, I really love and care about this girl and haven't cared about anyone this much in my life and don’t want to lose it but it feels as if I have already. How much time should I give her? How do I know if she is really calling it quits on me or if she truly needs time? Any advice anyone could give would be of great help cause it feels like the world is falling in around me. It seems to do this anytime I start to really be happy in life and it’s really starting to scare me with me approaching 30.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 May 2009):
 I really would give her some space and some time. Losing a friend is so hard, and she is definitely grieving. Let her do that however she needs to do that. Gina was right on, I think sending some flowers to let her know that you're thinking about her and care about her is a great way of staying on her mind and letting her know how much you love her.
Overwhelming her will only push her away. Be there for her, but give her room to breathe. Once the mourning is over, she'll know who was there for her this whole time.
Good luck, sweetness!
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