A
female
age
36-40,
*obbles32
writes:So I'm moving in with my boyfriend of over a year. I'm moving away from home for college..the one he's going to. So we've decided that we're going to be moving in together. He's got a 2 bedroom apartment so it's not like if we have an argument I have no place to go, or if one of us needs space then it's not a huge deal. I've got all my stuff bought, I have my own kitchen things like dishes, glasses, utensils and everything. I made sure that if anything happened I would be able to move out and have all my own things.Now, Ive looked up things on the internet about how to be an awesome roommate and how moving in with your boyfriend can change a relationship.. but I'm looking for some advice or input or experiences, just basically anything that will help me during this transition.thanks guys,
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female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (20 May 2009):
bobbles32 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Anonymous, i sense so much sarcasm in your reply. I honestly don't see the harm in hsving my own things in case things don't go as planned, since i'll be away from my parents and friends, basically my support system. I didn't appreciate your answer.
A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (19 May 2009):
bobbles32 is verified as being by the original poster of the questiongreat advice chicas! it's lovely to know i have this online community to turn to if things go south.
I will definetly follow your advice tasteofindia, you've really made some quality points! Right now him and I are generally homebodies anyway (i guess we're kinda nerds, you could say) but we do enjoy occasional outings together.. so i will definetly try to continue those excursions, if we have the money!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Hello, It's such a good idea that you got two bedrooms, just in case you fight and also that you got all your own kitchen utensils- so that if you two broke up you could move out and have the right number of spoons at your new place. Let me ask you, have you also looked at other one bed-room flats- you know just in case you two break up. Oh, and do not forget to book storage and moving vans- you never know when the two of you might part ways. Here is a tip: Do not get into this with breaking up as an option. Commit and move in.Also, set rules and stick to them, respect privacy and just have fun- you are getting to move in with your bf!!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (19 May 2009):
I did this when I went to uni.
The relationship went ok, although we lost some of the romance due to the fact he'd see me when I was ill and wearing baggy jumpers all the time and no make up.
It also meant that I spent all my time with him. So when he left the next year I found I had not spent enough time with anyone to get close to them and had to go about making all the friends I should have made in first year. I also had to move in with complete strangers just to get somewhere to live.
So it can work but make sure you spend lots of time SEPARATELY going out and finding separate groups of friends to hang out with. Join clubs and groups and societies that he doesn't go to and he should do the same.
Then you'll be fine. It's only if you think things are starting to go bad with eachother that you have to worry. If that happens then split up while there is not the resentment and hate and you can live as housemates till your lease runs out.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (19 May 2009):
 Sorry... I gave you the "best advice I can give you" like, three times. So let's just leave it as - it's all good.
Again, good luck, sweetness. You sound like an excellent roomie!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 May 2009):
Hey lady,
It's good that you have a two bedroom apartment, you can both have your own space.
The best advice I can give you is accept that for the first 6-12 months, it might be a little rough and you might argue a little more than you used to. Adjusting to melding two lives together can be really hard to do - maybe you can't live without the radio constantly on, and he needs it to be quiet all the time. Trust that you WILL find your groove together and eventually things will run like a well oiled machine. You'll learn to compromise and do some things your way and do some things his.
Keep time for yourself and make sure that you keep your own life going on. Sometimes when you move in together you feel like you need to be together all the time... not true!! You still need to do your thing and he still needs to do his. So get away from each other sometimes - and not just if you're in a bad mood. Girls night out should live on! Make sure that since you're together your world is getting BIGGER, not SMALLER.
I think the best advice I can give you is to KEEP DATING. It is extremely easy to become two homebodies now that you're living together. Make sure you still get out, go to the movies, go bowling, go to dinner. Make sure you still do sweet things for each other and surprise each other (which is a challenge when you live together - very little secrets). It is easy to get into a rut when you're cohabiting... keep your sex life spicy (if you're having a sexual relationship), and remember that now you have a whole house to yourself! That means you can do it in the kitchen without fear of someone walking in on you, so GO FOR IT.
Oh yes, and remember to still dress up for him sometimes. This is probably my biggest problem is that after living together for 3 years, you get used to getting home and throwing on sweats. Now this is totally cool 5 times a week, but make sure you still make efforts to look hot for him too.
Okay, sweetness, we wish you luck and hey - there's always Dear Cupid for when things aren't going so swell. Ask us any time! 3
Good luck!
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