A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My daughter will not speak to me because, I dislike her boyfriend. My daughter has two children with him. Who I do not see. He has alienated her from me. Also he does not work she supports him and his family. I've tried to e-mail. Nothing works. I have sent gifts to grandchildren. I never get a thank you. I didn't even hear from her on mother's day. This has been going on for three years. Please Help! I miss my daughter. My daughter has been with him for 11 years and he has alienated her from all her family. Except his! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): I really feel empathy towards your situation. I am too in sort of the situation that you are in, and it really hurts. It is the toughest job in the world to be a Mom. I wish my Mom told me that I would be experiencing large doses of happiness, concern, anger, and hurt while raising my daughter.The only difference in my situation is that there is a step mother involved. My daughter is 18 and was living with me while going to college. She was coming home at 2 am and disrupting the family while we slept (we have dogs). I told her she had to leave. She ran to her father and step-mom. She texted very hurtful things including, "thanks for the most miserable 18 years of my life B@*!@!"I miss her, but I am standing my ground with her. I will not talk to her or acknowledge her until she comes to my house and talks to me about her behavior. I am missing her terribly and feel envy towards her step-mom that gets to spend all the time with her that I should be spending.My advice to you is give it time and take care of yourself first. I am sure you did everything you possibly could do for her. Now, it is time for her to come to you on your terms.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 May 2009):
 There may be every reason in the universe not to like him, and he DOES sound like a jerk - but if you want to get a relationship with your daughter again, you're going to need to grit your teeth and make peace with her husband. Even if that just means tolerating his presence and accepting that you're not ever going to get that apology - rekindling your relationship with your daughter won't happen if you are at odds with her husband.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to thank you all for your reply's. The answers didn't really help. The boyfriend is very disrespectful to myself and my husband. He was disrespectful to us in our own home and used the F word at myself and my husband and disrespected us in our house. My husband wanted him to give me an apology to me and he would not. Its a long story as to what happened and that's when he turned our daughter against us. My daughter has been brainwashed by him and I believe he is using her to support him as he is lazy and hasn't worked since she has been with him. He has promised to marry her but every year there is in excuse. Believe me he is a bum! He can't make a commitment and as told us he would never marry her. Honestly I would not want her too! My daughter is very hardworking. What she see in him I have no idea. My daughter works two jobs to support her family.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 May 2009):
Hi there,
I agree with the others - what it comes down to is to KEEP TRYING. Even if it's little things, like continuing to send letter to the kids and sending her a letter outlining the fact that you miss her and wish you could see her and make amends...
Even if she doesn't respond, she will always know that you made the effort and that she has a mother who cares about her. Also reaching out to her husband (even if you don't care for him), will make a difference. Just remember to try and make efforts genuine, not forced - it could come off as phony or sarcastic. Really try to make things better.
Good luck!!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): you should find a way to communicate with her annonimously or through friends
...............................
A
female
reader, Olivia(Y).  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 Send her a letter just explaining that you miss her and you want the relationship you had with her back. Give examples of memorys you had together. Say you don't mind about her husband you just want her back in your life.
Offer to do simple things like look after her kids or go shopping with each other.
If this doesn't work then you could try and talk to her husband and try and make the peace with him.
I wish you the best.
Livia
xoxox
...............................
|
