A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Long story short, my bf cheated on me. i didnt know how to deal with this, ive been upset for the last two weeks so in a drunken rage i took red spray paint to his door (he has a door that leads outside) and painted CHEATER on it really big it felt so goodbut today the police came knocking on my door and said im being charged with vandalism.. my mom is so angry with me and i dont know where to from here? is there any way to get the charges dropped???
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your advice, my boyfriend has decided to drop the charges because in all reality he deserved it in a way because he did cheat on me and even though i went about it in the wrong way.. at the end of the day, he did cheat on me.
my bf didnt supply me with the alcohol by the way, i have plently of friends over 18 (the legal age limit)
and almost half the teenagers in my hometown drink under the age limit so.. the police kinda give up unless someone is being totally out of control
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): i think wreck summed up the answer x
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 Hi there,First of all, you are under the legal drinking age according to Canadian law, so there is an issue for a start. Who supplied you with the alcohol? With regard to your mother being angry, maybe she should start to be a bit more responsible about knowing where you are and what you are up to. Sounds to me like she has no right to be angry at anyone other than herself. Next, how old is the ex-boyfriend, and did he ever supply you with alcohol? If he did, there's your comeback, because the charges for supplying alcohol to minors will be a lot worse than spraying someones door.I live in Australia, so am not particularly familiar with Canadian law, but I did reference it via the net, and if I have it right, he'll be in a lot more trouble than you will, assuming he's old enough to buy alcohol and has supplied it to you, (if that is the case there are other legal issues which are applicable also, regarding sexual consent of a person under a certain age, etc). I would suggest offering to pay for the damage before it goes to court, and getting someone else to contact the ex-boyfriend and letting him know how the big picture could pan out. Good luck to you, I'm pretty sure you've learned a big lesson about vandalism, (and about creepy guys). :)
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A
male
reader, Wreck  +, writes (17 July 2009):
 No proof = no charge. Say you didnt do it dont admit to it , say that he has plenty of girl freinds give him a bad history and that it could have been any other girl angry at him , look innocent and cry if you can. ALWAYS SAY NO!.... if the judge asks blah blah on this day did you go paint to his house say No , i was at home with my family on that day celebrating my cousins birthday. or some story. As long as theres no proof theres no way he can charge you for vandalism.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (17 July 2009):
OK, first you say "his door" - but this is only true if he owns the house. If he's renting, then your problem is likely with the landlord. Either way, the way to make this go away is likely to make restitution. Pay someone to repaint the door & trim, and clean up any paint that got anywhere else...
Then appologize and make a commitment NOT to do things like this in the future. Odds are really good that the court is not going to want to mess with this. Community service may or may not come into play, but as your act was against him, and not the community odds are it will not. You however may want to have a few session with a councelor to explore your reaction... this could be a great help to you, and show the judge that you recogize that your actions need a bit of review, on your part.
However, if you keep doing things like this, odds are that the courts will will one day take this matter seriously.
Now,keep in mind, you may have crossed the line with this guy, and this may be his way of telling you to get out of his life. A restaining order is the next level - if you think you mom is pissed now... MAN, she'll be really nuts if he has one of those filed- and showing up with a buch of photos of your work is a sure fire way of making this happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009): Your chances of getting the charges dropped will be better if you get a good lawyer, one who's knowlegable in the area. You really want to avoid a criminal conviction if you can -- it will interfere with all kinds of things, including your ability to travel.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 July 2009):
 I don't know, my darling. You're going to have to get some answers from some people familiar with the law, but it seems like to me that you're pretty much guilty of vandalism. You did spray paint his door, and while I sympathize with your reasons and bet it felt totally great to do while in your drunken rage, you ultimately still were a vandal and screwed up his door. I don't see how you can get around these charges, I can only see this being a slightly better situation if you fess up and you're honest and cooperative with the police and your Mom.
Get ready to apologize and pay your dues (probably community service?... not that bad...), maybe he'll drop charges. Good luck, sweetness!!!
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