A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi EveryoneI would like to know:My husband (been married almost 10 y) always says the same thing... What does it mean?When he sees a naked woman, on TV or in the newspaper or in a magazine, he looks her up and down, and says: she looks like she has a GREAT personality, what do you think?His tone is such that you know he is thinking about a lot of thing EXCEPT her personality. In fact the only "personality" he is clearly thinking of, is that which is visibily showing...I am getting quite fed up about him saying this... (and it is the SAME every time!)I have said to him things like: Oh give me a break, you are just looking at her tits, or Tell that to your male friends and Not to your wife, to i am going to find men in magazines also showing their "personality", to please stop saying that, i am not interested what you think about other women...But he will only listen for a while, and then it starts again.I get upset, but he probabily doesnt realise it!Why does he say that??Guys, why is it neccesary to comment to your wife about things like that???(Ps: He is generally good hubbie to me and good dad to kids...)For some reason this just bugs me!Please help me understand someone!?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): I am just wondering why this bothers you so much? Even though you may not find it funny he probably does. We all need a little humor now and then, allow him to have his. I think you should be glad that he feels comfortable with you enough to have this type of kidding with you his best friend. Ease up, its not a big deal.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): ????????????what??
Don't think this directly answers the OP's question.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): How can have a better sex life even if my husband is small??I've been married goin on 8yrs and i always told my husband he really aint satisfying me cause he's smaller then, Well you get the point. I Also tryed the jells that are to make you tighter since I Also had 4 kids I figured it might just be me. In The Begining It wasnt as bad since i was madly in love I dint care but I knew It. It also dosent help when the guy befor was 5x's bigger we even tried pills to make him grow also extentions. Honestly it's not the same Im really worried this will end our relation ship. I mean Im very honest with him, and expect him to tell me the truth about my performance, like always he's satisfied. Im just tierd of faking it when he already knows he's not good in this subject. I try not to make it a big deal but when a month gose by thier's nuttin to do but to try again.I just figured since i told him he will try anything to help himself but im the one always buyin everthing dose, seems to me he dosent even care.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): Why? Was mighty impressed with the five-point rant you unleashed on your husband. At least, until I re-read the post just now and realised you'd 'NEARLY said what I thought'...I'd initially assumed you'd really said all this stuff to him!!
Lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): From the OP:
1.rhythmandblues2: Thanks for your post. Good point! Am feeling a tad less hot with all the kiddies driving me nuts... ;-)
2. Nightingale: Loved that!! Personality augmentation! Sure as hell gonna try that one!
3. heartfullalove: Thanks. Never been a hero before.. Uhm. Must ask though... Why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): OP, you're my new hero!!!
Congratulations xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2009): I think your husband is being sarcastic. He is saying, yeah the chick is hot, but I bet she (doesn't ) have a great personality (she is as dumb as a box of rocks).
I also suspect that he misses his Hot Wife, what when he comes home you are wearing no makeup and holding a baby with spit up on the bib and water and toys on the floor.
Some night surprise him when he gets home, kids, baby gone for the evening at a sitters, you in your makeup, hair cut, colored and styled and in a black dress, and say, we are going out, buddy so I can show off my great personality....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): I am the original poster!Thanks you guys.Made me laugh!Tonight i was just tired i guess.Got homw after very busy/discouraging day at work and cooked dinner with baby on hip. Trying to get him not to stick hands in the pot, with the other one playing figure-of-8 with his cars between my feet.Hubbie walks in and asks whether i had noticed the pool of water on the floor(baby pulled over jug on sink...) and if i did dhy wasnt i doing something about it?So i said i only have 2 hands and if he wanted anything doing to it, he can do it himself.so he got the sunday paper out open it and was about to through it over the puddle when he notices page 3 girl and remarks on her personality and boy doesnt she look friendly...I nearly chucked food and baby at him, and nearly said what i thought... Which was something like:1) do you really think she would want anything to do with you, loser?2)Turns out i am a lesbian hon, and if you show me one more picture of a naked woman i am going to leave you for her,3)You dont have enough money to impress her enough to take the g-string off, so give it a rest...4)Good thing you brought that up sweetie, because i am leaving you for a guy with an equally nice "personality"5)Sure she is pretty, but the chances of her sleeping with you, is about the same of me ever sleeping with you again. Zero!Anyway, i have calmed down a bit...(But only a bit ;-) )I wish there was something i could say to make him stop saying things like that to me...sometimes i think he is just so relaxed with me, he treats me like one of the guys. And maybe THEY would like that double entendre about personality...But I sure as hell dont!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): he may be saying great personality but thinking great boobs and arse.who is he fooling. next time you see these great personalitites comment how good her tits or backside looks. tell him if you were a man you would want to sample some of that. then hear his comments. also if you see a hunk on tv, comment on the male's great personality. i think he may just get the message.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 Just laugh at him and say, "Yeah, I heard silicone does wonders for a girl's personality. It removes IQ points and makes them fall for fat, balding, aging men. I'm sure she has a GREAT personality." That's basically a longer way to say, "In your dreams, buddy, in your dreams."
Or just ignore him. If it bothered me, that's probably what I would do. I knew someone in the military who had perfected the "stare through" gaze. If they were being shouted at by a superior officer, they adopted this gaze. It's like they are present, but they're not. It's a little hard to describe. You want to mentally vacate the room, while your body is still there. Then when he drops that topic, you can return and give him your attention again.
Good luck.
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female
reader, littlekitten1130 +, writes (28 July 2009):
 You know what...F that sh*t. You have all the right to be concerned or bothered by this. Men...read this clearly...Woman will always feel threatened by other woman...its like a natural instinct. We want to feel the prettiest, smartest, most attractive, etc...We are sensitive beings...but with all the asshole men now a days who cheat on us for more busty women...i am not saying all men are like this...but, many women want to feel number one to there husbands, boyfriends, etc. I am sure your husband would be upset if you started looking at other men in a sexual way on the internet or t.v and made it clear by making rationally obscure comments or jokes. A lot of times women will overreact, men can't always help looking at perverted things, and although your man seems to be joking...its not a joke to you. You don't need to be a strong woman to feel threatened by this, especially if you are married. To avoid further problems...just confront them to him...tell him how you really feel about this joke, and why it bothers or even hurts you, without making a joke out of yourself (seeming jealous or making false accusations). He might understand that it bothers you...but trust me... alot of times guys don't get the hint...they might assume you are on your period or menopause...or even just ask him...what do you mean by great personality? That might stump him...
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): I sympathise, but it's just a fact of life that in any mature, long-term relationship peole have set phrases that they repeat, funny or not.He probably regards it as his favourite joke and you probably want to strangle him if you hear it just once more.....That's life, as I said, and you must weigh that small downside with all of the upsides you have told us about, and lots more, I bet?OR.Just tell him, jokingly, that if he says it again you will respond by mimicking him repeatedly until he gets the message?Or just hug him and tell him how wonderful he is - that'll frighten the crap out of him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): He's just joking, he probably doesn't realize how big a deal it is to you, so just make it clear to him that it is.
We are surrounded by pictures of women made to look sexy in everything we see, you turn on the news you'll most likely see an attractive young woman reading the news. Every magazine, newspaper, advert etc. is using sex to sell something. Women's magazines are especially bad for this.
There is no escaping it, so he's probably just saying that out of sarcasm, he's a man and whether you like it or not we're not immune to this kind of blatant sexuality, we are constantly having half naked women shoved in our faces by every piece of media we consume.
Just tell him to keep his opinions on the matter to himself that it actually bothers you and FYI trying to make him jealous by doing the same with naked men in magazines won't work, most of us guys are realistic and never see guys in magazines as a real threat to our relationship.
For example my girlfriend regularly looks at naked guys and porn on the internet and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, she's always commenting on guys she thinks are hot I don't mind, I think it's funny because I know she'd never act on it.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (28 July 2009):
 So he's a joker, is he? Sounds to me like this is just his funny phrase (and let's face it, it's a little funny... at least to me, who is not his wife). It's tacky, but if he's a good husband to you, a good Dad to the kids, I would just roll my eyes every time and groan. Maybe do the little "da-da-tshhh" (that's the comedy drum right there), or do a big fake snore.
He's stupid, but he's yours.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (28 July 2009):
 He may be a good hubby and father, he just has a maturity issue when it comes to watching tv.I had a friend who did that to his wife all the time, so she got mad and got him back.After a day of constant needling we were watching Ronald Reagans Funeral and as they led the motorcade out of the Capitol she finally had enough of the banter and informed him that A dead Reagan would probably be better sex than she was currently getting. Then she made a gesture as if she was going to dive into the TV and "jump his bones".That was the last time my buddy ever acted like that in front of his wife.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (28 July 2009):
 I think that it's better that he doesn't think twice about saying that in front of you and that he isn't doing this surreptitiously, on the sly and pretending to be deaf, dumb and blind when a pretty girl goes by. Most guys look. Sounds like he's being open and sharing it with you. I'd be more worried about him if he hid it.
Even though it irritates you, and he's stupid to not realize that you will remember it FAR longer than the two seconds that he looked for! It doesn't sound like he's the type that would ever consider chasing after someone else if he is sharing his fantasies and turn ons with you!
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female
reader, mysterious_blonde_lady  +, writes (28 July 2009):
Ask him; why he says it. 'Why do you always say they have a great personality?' Could be sarcasm. I think the bigger question is;; why does it bother you so much?
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 July 2009):
 My husband will fart and blame the dog, it bugs me big time. I've given up however and just painfully smile back at the goofy gus.
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female
reader, behindTHEtears +, writes (28 July 2009):
 i think he says that so u won't no he thinks she's like pretty or something, GREAT PERSONALITY probably great body u no like subliminal message just tell him y he saying that ask him he is ur husband im sure he won't mind. he probably says that so u won't get offended.
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