A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I told my boyfriend that I was going gave him virginity on his birthday. He isn't a virgin and waited for me since I wasn't ready yet. He started pressuring me unintentionally, he kept telling me he wait until his b-day and I sort of felt like I had to do it to keep him happy. When the day came I was really freaked. We started with foreplay. He unhooked my bra I just freaked pushed him away took my clothes than went home. He won't stop calling me. Any idea?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (16 July 2009):
 Things are best unplanned. Like a first kiss, and especially like losing your virginity. Losing your virginity is something that should happen naturally, when it feels right. Pressing yourself to lose it on a certain date and time makes the whole situation feel unnatural, awkward, and not fun at all. You want to ease into things and feel really great about the timing. You should feel totally comfortable and wonderful and decide to take that extra step. You shouldn't lose your virginity just because you feel obligated and just because you want to make him happy. That's not right, and that makes your first time really crappy. Especially if he's not a virgin, the first time should prioritize YOU, making you feel wonderful and comfortable and making the memory amazing.
I'm not surprised that you freaked. I think you did the right thing in stopping things. If he won't stop calling and you still want to see him, I would pick up the phone and lay down the deal. Something along the lines of, "I'm sorry about what happened on your birthday. But, I've got to be honest with you... I'm just not ready to have sex, and I can't be with you if I feel like I'm going to be pressured into doing stuff. I really like you, but I don't want to feel guilty about keeping my virginity.". Be clear, be firm and don't let him make you feel bad. You haven't done anything wrong, sweetness, and you deserve to go at your own pace and have a wonderful, memorable first time.
Good luck, sweetness!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): Its perfectly normal.
but i think u should call him or answer his calls im sure hes worried about u
and if hes waitd that long im sure he can understand that ur just not ready
and if making someone happy means making u feel uncomfortable dont do it
good luck
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A
male
reader, gay15 +, writes (16 July 2009):
Well if he keeps calling he is still interested and really cares about you!
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A
female
reader, ~pretty angel~  +, writes (16 July 2009):
I think that you should just get out of that relationship, since it seems he was only in it for the sex. If you want to remain in it, tell him EXACTLY how you felt about the whole situation and that you felt forced to do this. If he really loves you, he'll listen.
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