A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well I'm very confused. im extremely happy with my boyfriend, we've basically been together for a year and ive never in my life felt for anyone the way i feel about him, i understand this sounds typical for a 16 (almost 17) year old girl to say, but i guess you have to feel they way i do, you know. we've talked about having a baby and we both want one but at the same time are like hmm. hes 16, has a job that pays quite abit, a car and house and all the works, hes the sweeeetest guy ive ever met, he basically worships the ground i walk on, i know he'll be a amazing dad and wont think twice about leave, trust me if you met him you'll understand excatly what im talking about, plus his dad and my mom are dating i guess and we basically live together, i know im ready and i know what i'll miss in life and in a way i feel like that will be fine in the long run, but others advice would help im sure. just what you think? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2009): Do not do it. I am 16 and the mother of a 3 week old. I wanted my daughter to be honest and i don't regret her one bit, but i would have held off if i knew how hard it really is. It's really really hard. It's expensive but not as expensive as i thought, although the few penny's i earn are not enough to keep her without the help of my boyfriend and mother. It does stuff your body up (having a child) my belly is covered in stretch marks and although thats not the biggest worry in the world, they aren't pretty. Waking up in the middle of the night, trying to work around school, changing nappies, steralising bottles at midnight and wondering why she keeps crying when i've burped her, changed her and fed her makes you feel like.. really bad to say the least. Just hold off a couple of years.. you have plenty of time for babies it's not like your in your 30's.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually that sound's like a realllly good advice. That actually helped me out alot and made me sit here and think everything over, thanks soooo much. I think I'm going to actually do that.
Thanks much! (:
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (19 September 2009):
 Congratulations on finding the perfect fella! Isn't it awesome to find the guy who you're going to love for the rest of time? So appreciate it!! Once a baby comes along, you no longer get to enjoy being together, going on dates, having fun and being able to have spontaneous adventures. It's 24/7 baby, and neither of you will have time for each other or your relationship anymore, except for few minutes and and odd and end times when the baby is sleeping.
So, why not spend a few more years enjoying your relationship together and maybe start saving money now? I've been there before, I love babies! So what I did with my fella to lower the urge was we got a box. Big ol' plastic bin, and we called it our "baby box". And we fill it up with cute little baby things... whenever I feel all maternal and baby craving, I go out and buy one of those adorable little onesies or tiny pairs of shoes and throw it in the box. We'll use 'em someday! But I'll tell you right now, that I'm sure glad we've held off on babies, we've had SO MUCH FUN in the last 4 years! There's something about being like, what are we going to do today? Let's go to the coast for the weekend!
And in the meantime, you can get a nice fallback bank account for the baby, for college and for babysitters. And, why not save for a wedding?!???!
Weddings are so much fun!
In the meantime, my fella bought me a puppy for our 3 year anniversary and it was perhaps more exhausting than a baby, but just as cute and cuddly. I got to name her and cuddle her and now she's a crazy 1 year old. And, we just got married a month ago. So we've really gotten to make the most out of OUR time together. You deserve the same thing. Go out, buy a box and perhaps buy a puppy!! Seriously, it's amazing to raise a puppy that is just yours and his.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (19 September 2009):
 It sounds like you have met Mr Perfect. So, now you can spend some happy times with him without the commitment of a child. You would be very young to have a baby. As lovely as it is to have a baby, they are hard-work and cost a small fortune! I am glad I waited until my 30's to have my baby because I am in a financial and emotional position to be a good parent (well, some days!). There is nothing wrong with wanting a baby with your partner, but leave it a few years until you have travelled, been to college or acquired a professional occupation and done all the things you want to do with your life as a single person. It would never be the same after a baby comes along and you should try to enjoy your early adult life while planning to be a parent later on.
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