A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well a few days ago i asked a girl that i had liked since before i really had interest in girls out to go see a movie. She shot me down but at the time she almost seemingly sayed yes and basically said that she wasn't over her ex yet and i thought ok with her ill believe this because of how obsessed she used to be about her ex. Normally i would of took this as an excuse but since we had known each other from the time we were in kindergarten i figured she would tell me straight.Well today she found me and talked to me, we went on about things and a guy who i will call john came up because he texted her, i ask who he is and she says without thinking its my boyfriend. She could just see me go from completely find and dandy to anger. She had the nerve to after shooting me down because she wasn't over her ex allegedly, to date some other guy 4 days later or less. I feel like i have been betrayed completely by a friend i have know forever. I wouldn't of even been mad if she just sayed o i have interest in someone else but she lied and gave me a fake not crush most people reason. She may have of very well destroyed a 13 year friendship in one sweep over a guy like most of her past boyfriends who will probably treat her like crap in the end. Just seeing her infuriates me and hurts me, what should i do about this aunts.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, MBaachman +, writes (27 September 2009):
You can't trust a dog to be good, but you can trust it to be a dog. Same with people.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah started to accept this cant be an arse to her even if i want to be, this week i wanted to flip out and tell her to grow the hell up! For some reason something inside of me stopped me from doing it, i don't know what but something did.
What makes this suck even more is that fact that i found out who this is she has been dating and all her friends who i didn't know even knew about this found out about her dating him, and not about not dating me so they were not mad about that. Yet they have done nothing but make fun of him and her behind her back. They think this is another ridiculous attempt at fulfilling her lust by using a guy who is illegal to her. Yeah she is 19 and he is 16 and a sophomore in high school and looks like he is five.
A few people have already tried to warn her that all he wants is sex, and i know its true because when i was his age that was all i thought about and worried about lol. Everyone is pretty much betting that it will last for a week tops and that is it.
The other main problem with the guys is she is running right back into the arms of a 16 year old version of her ex who isn't even as cool as her ex. I was friends with her ex and he was cool with guys but he was a total dick to her. This guy is him minus the cool side and nothing good can come of it and i am just waiting for our circle to start placing bets of when it will fall apart.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): Oh come on she was trying to be nice, fool. She wanted to let you down easier! It's better than i think of you as a brother, let's stay being friends!
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (22 September 2009):
 I'm really sorry that you got shot down and I'm really sorry that she's not interested in you. She was trying to let you down easy, rather than saying, "hey - I don't like you. Sorry.", she opted for, "it's not you, it's me." (essentially).
It's normal that you feel upset when you see them together. It hurts when you see someone you like with someone else. But, she didn't betray you and you have no reason to be infuriated with her, because she was just trying to reject you as nicely as she could. She's not into you, and that's tough to accept, but it's something you'll have to accept. Don't lose a perfectly good friendship over this, but if it hurts too much to see her, then be honest with yourself and cool down your time with her.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2009): I'm sorry this hurt and upset you, but she just isn't into you that way. Because she cares about you, she didn't want to hurt your feelings by saying so. She cares about you enough to not want to hurt you. I'm afraid that is all, however.
Take the advice of the other aunts on this board...date other women, you will find someone special and forget all about this lady.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 September 2009):
 You cant be angry at someone for not being attracted to you dude. She may care for your 13 years of friendship so much that she wouldnt want to wreck it by dating you. I think its silly to throw away 13 years of friendship, but it sounds like its you doing it, not her. Just be happy for her and try to focus on finding someone else, if something was going to happen between you two, dont you think it would've happened by now?Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 September 2009):
You're her friend, that's it. She sees you as a friend and nothing more. Painful, I know, because I was there. I knew a girl who went out wth complete idiots, but would never go out with me. All you can do is be there for her as a friend with the tissues for when it goes wrong. In the meantime, meet other girls. I did, so I know that you can get over her if you make a point to. Don't take it personally though and don't let it ruin your friendship. Hope that helps.
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