A
female
age
30-35,
*lwayznd4eva116
writes:Hey.. umm I have a question. Im 18 years old, i just started college and im about to go away to school next semester. i met this boy in school, and we got together. i fell in love with him and as my first love, i lost my virginity to him. when i was with my ex, we talked about having a baby all the time and had unprotected sex a lot, but never acted on it (he always pulled out when we did it) but then we broke up and right after we stopped talkin, i met this older guy. he was really nice and said all the things i needed to hear. i guess maybe i fell for him bcuz he was there when i needed someone after my brake up with my ex. when we first had sex, it was unprotected and i got pregnant. i didnt keep the baby, because he talked me out of it. he said school was more important and i needed to finish before having a baby. but after the termination, i began feeling guilty. it was about 6 months ago but til this day, i regret gettin rid of my baby. well me and this guy argue a lot, so right now, were not speaking. we go on and off a lot but this time it might really be over between us two. the last few times we had sex, i purposely missed my bc pills. i really want a baby now. and it may sound crazy but i also really want a puppy. i havent spoken to this guy in over a week, and i just really miss him. is it normal for me to want a pet to avoid being lonely?
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broke up, fell in love, lost my virginity, my ex, unprotected sex, want a baby Reply to this Question
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female
reader, alwayznd4eva116 +, writes (26 September 2009):
alwayznd4eva116 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thnxx guys. and yeah, basschick, i definetly agree with you. a puppy is the closest thing ill get to a baby, and my urge to want a child isnt goin away..maybe if i had something other then a baby, to care for, i wont want a child as much. and yeah, ii really hope that my decision not to have my baby pays off in the future.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Hail Cesar, indeed! I love him. And so, poster, if you decide to get a dog, watch plenty of Dog Whisperer first! Just throwing that out there. It is not healthy for a pup to come into a person's life as a "feel better" thing to lean on. It needs a solid owner, who can discipline, train and take their role seriously. Once you feel solid in your life and can commit to long walks and plenty of exercise everyday, then maybe a dog is a good choice.
But, like Mervy suggested, perhaps something less complex of a critter is perfect for you. What about even a kitten? All they need to do is get to the litter box, and at least you can leave town for a weekend and not stress about them tearing up your house! Chinchillas are soft, or a rabbit or hamster. All cute!
I'm very sorry about what happened in your life, it sounds really hard to deal with. It is normal to feel the way you're feeling. I think in addition to a pet, perhaps a counselor is a good choice for you. Good luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, mervy  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Getting a dog when you're in an emotional state is not great for it at all. You need to be able to be its leader, not relying on the dog to look after you (Hail Cesar!!) Puppies take more work than older dogs - but even adopting a dog from a shelter will require you to be prepared to lead it as well as love it. Why not a cat, rabbit or a guinea pig, mice, or even fish? These can be just as affectionate, but don't require the same amount of exercise and work as a dog.
mervy.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 September 2009):
 A puppy may help, but I'll agree with "Old Guy" that you will need to devote yourself to the welfare of the puppy. Better advice is to also seek a man of quality.
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A
female
reader, Basschick +, writes (23 September 2009):
 Well a puppy is no substitute for a baby, but in your case I think it is just what you need. Puppies can give you an outlet; a place to turn your love and affection to that is not as demanding as having a baby. The responsibility will help you understand how to care for something other than yourself. As hard as your decision was, not to have a child right now, you probably made the right choice in the long run. When you finished with school and have a plan for your life (career, goals etc) that will be a better time to fall in love with a man who wants the same things you do. Then you will be able to do it right and you'll be mature enough to handle the responsiblity of a child. I wish you the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): It might be normal, but it's terribly wrong. You're young, you're in school, and you have no responsibilities. You can sleep in, or you can stay with friends for days. A pet, particularly a dog, is not in any way consistent with that lifestyle. A puppy is almost as much responsibility as a baby. DO NOT get one just to make you feel better, unless you're prepared to be there for it all the time, every day.
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