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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: so i just turned 16 and my bf is 18. we have an amazing relationship tho it is still in the bieginning stages. only about 3.5 months into it. we are together everyday and are extremely affectionate. the problem is, he is a senior and will be leaving for college in less than a year. he is also joining the navy. we will not be able to see each other after he leaves. he is moving to missouri (we're in jersey now) and will most likely be deported somewhere farther anyway. i want to stay with him so badly and it hurts me to the point of tears every time i think about him leaving and he always tells me how he never wants to leave me. i know it would be selfish of me to even bring up the subject of him possibly changing his plans for the sake of our relationship, but i cant help it. i think about it constantly. we just recently went thru a pregnancy scare (turns out we have nothing to worry about thank goodness) but after we found that out he said "idk what we would have done. our whole teenage lives would have been stopped. we wouldve lived together. had a child! wow. thats a lot to think about huh?" idk what he meant by this... i am soooooo confused. please help me
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (14 September 2009):
 His statement seems like an appropriate reaction. A baby is a huge deal and really would have stopped your teenage lives. I think he was just processing the reality of what might have been. I don't think he meant anything bad by it.
As for the Navy, I understand how you feel. I just got married to a Marine and MAN, does it suck being across the country from each other, barely able to talk to each other (never during boot camp and now on Sunday's), but it's doable if you're committed. However, you're young and I think that perhaps you should take a break just while he goes off. When he's back, see how you both feel and whether or not you still want to be together and commit to the military lifestyle. It's natural wanting him to stay with you, but it's his life and it's not fair of you to ask him to make such a dramatic change in his life, hopes, plans, dreams.
So support him with his future and take things one step at a time. It'll get better, whether that means you wait for him and try a LDR, see how that works, or if you decide to take a break and if you're meant to be together, you'll reconnect down the line. Good luck, sweetness!!!
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female
reader, juliaash123 +, writes (14 September 2009):
i think you are young to be thinking like that i mean i am only 17 about to b 18 but dont think about so much and so hard if you two truly love each other and really want to be with each other later than you guys will stick it out. if you love him you should let him go because that is his future and who knows you might be in it
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): It seams like he has set goals for what he wants to accomplish in life. I think he just said that cause he was really shocked and was just wondering how his life would have changed. Its very hard, I cant imagine how difficult it is for you to realise the person you love will be moving away. If this is something he truly wants to do and if this is really the life he wants to live, than you have to let him go and support him. It will hurt you, but it will hurt more if you hold him back and he regrets never going out there. You two can still stay in touch and try to have a long distance relationship. If the two of you really do love each other than the distance should only be on obstacle, not an end.
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