A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If I had sex with this guy would he think I was easy?I have known this guy for about three years, we have never dated but french kissed on a couple of occasions, we know each other through mutual friends. We have texted each other but he never calls to ask me out, he always asks when we are going to move things on.Anyway, we have a group party coming up and he says he has booked a hotel for us, I really like him but don't want to come across as easy. What should I say? Could I say great but I'm not going to sleep with you? I know for definite that he doesn't want a relationship but he did say that it wouldn't be a one off. I am really into him but like I said I don't want to be seen as easy.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): Everyone is saying "he's a dirtbag" and maybe they're right. But depending on how you two get along it might not be all that bad. We're assuming a lot about how you two get along without a lot of info.I would just be clear that you're not "money in the bank" on this. At least stipulate that he get a room with two separate beds. But the other answers are still correct that you really need to beware of dirtbaggery here. I mean, seriously, the "I don't want a relationship but it won't be a one-off thing"? Come on. That sounds like THE classic player's tactic for talking a woman into the sack. He spells out just enough non-committal intentions to keep himself off the hook for deceiving you if he walks, but he still implies that it will be "something" like a relationship. He's trying hard to have this one both ways.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (18 September 2009):
 Man, is this guy tacky!! I agree with all the adjectives used here... "aggressive, disrespectful, forward, assumptive, inconsiderate, HE HAS SOME NERVE".
I'd just like to add self-centered, offensive, tactless and just plain icky.
I would turn down his hotel room and say something to the effect of, "I don't know what kind of girl you think I am, but I'm not into going to a hotel with you". Even if he tries to convince you that it's totally innocent, that he's not going to try anything and that you're really just going to sleep in the same bed, no big deal - don't buy it. Be strong and respect yourself and you know what? If he's a good, cool guy, he'll respect you more for it!
He sounds like a dirty dog to me, and if he doesn't want to put the effort into a relationship, don't give him the satisfaction of giving him your body. You need a man who desires the whole package and wants to put in the time, love and energy into you. You deserve that. You are too good for this guy, who's just looking for some easy booty with no strings attached.
Good luck, sweetness!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2009): Its simple. If you don't want him to think you're "easy", don't go.
He's got some nerve booking a hotel room - clearly on the assumption that you'll go along with it, and give him what he wants.
Kick this one to the kerb!
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 September 2009):
I would just stay cool.
You know this guy has no intention of making you his girlfriend because he would have done it by now.
I would tell him up front that you aren't doing the casual thing.
He's being very forward and I think since you have kissed him in the past without asking for any kind of relationship then he thinks he's in for some casual fun.
Go to the party and have fun but don't get drunk enough to give in to temptation.
If you sleep with him then he is just going to see you as a friend he can get an easy shag off every now and then.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Anonymousmale1 +, writes (17 September 2009):
 Not only would he think you're easy but your actions have allowed him to already think you are. Lets take a look at this from a different prospective. You've known a man for three years and although you two have kissed on a couple of occassions, he will only text you and never calls or asks you out.However, he has the nerve to ask you when are you two going to move things on (meaning sex).Then he books a hotel room for the two of you without actually asking if it was something you'd like to do, and then tells you about it as though you'd be happy and agree with it.What would you tell your best friend if she told you a similar story? Well, I am betting it would go something like this:I know you like this guy but does he really like you? He doesn't want a relationship with you but he feels that you should sleep with him? Who in the hell does he think he is?If you are not good enough to be his girlfriend why would you even consider putting yourself in a situation where you may be chided into sleeping with him?To make matters worse, he really has no respect for you because he took it upon himself to assume that you would spend the night with him.Everything is in his favor, he doesn't have to make you his and he could possibly talk you into bed. What is he offering in return? Oh? You get the chance to sleep with a man who doesn't respect you and apparently aren't good enough to be in a relationship. Wow!If I were your girlfriend I would tell you to text his ass and tell him, thanks but no thanks. Also, you should tell him to not contact you again until he grows up and realizes that he's ready to be in a relationship with a young, beautiful, caring, thoughtful woman with a lot to offer. Tell him to find someone else to fill his bed because you are looking for a real man and not some one night stand!If you do not respect yourself, men sure as hell will not!Anonymousmale1
...............................
|
