A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:1 - Does his use of porn affect how you feel about him and having sex with him?2 - Have you talked to him about how you feel and what did he say?3 - What makes him/your relationship so great that you feel you HAVE to accept this if it makes you unhappy?4 - If you are unhappy, do you plan to continue this relationship/stay?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 Talk about loaded questions. It don't matter what people answer, the poster has already made up her own mind. Anyone who answers differently will just be seen as a delusional woman oppressed by men.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 October 2009):
 1) Heck no! Because I know he's rather have me in a heartbeat and he makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive whenever we're together. Sometimes we use it together, or sometimes if I'm tired, I'll throw some on and throw him to the wolves.
2) We talked, and I told him that if at any point I start to feel insecure (unlikely), that I'll go out and pick out the porn and then I'll feel all good. He liked that plan. But really, I feel foxier than the porn babes, so for now he can pick what he pleases!
3) I don't HAVE to accept anything, which I guess makes me different. I'm not uncomfortable with porn BECAUSE he and our relationship is so great. But, you should never feel like you HAVE to put up with something that makes you feel bad, that's not fair to you. So if you're uncomfortable, talk about it and see what compromise you can come up with that you both are happy with.
4) Well, I'm not unhappy, but if I was - it wouldn't be because of porn. But for you... if you're unhappy, you shouldn't be in a relationship that makes you miserable. End of story. Talk about it with your fella, and if things won't change, don't let yourself be sad for the rest of your relationship, just get out and find someone who shares your views and makes you comfortable and happy!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  +, writes (3 October 2009):
 1 - Does his use of porn affect how you feel about him and having sex with him?
Nope. Actually from time to time we use the porn together.
2 - Have you talked to him about how you feel and what did he say?
We both talked about it and both have come to the conclusion that we are adults, are sexually stimulated by visual acts of sex and there is nothing to be ashamed about.
3 - What makes him/your relationship so great that you feel you HAVE to accept this if it makes you unhappy?
Nothing. If it doesn't make you happy, tell him. If he refuses to, he is not taking your feelings into consideration and is being selfish. If he cannot see this, you shouldn't have to put up with it. Leave.
4 - If you are unhappy, do you plan to continue this relationship/stay?
I am not unhappy so its all good.
HonningKanin
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 October 2009):
I'm a male, so I won't answer your questions. What I will say is that men use porn because it's a visual aid and we respond more to visual aids. That doens't mean he should do it. Have you spoken to him about it? Telll him that his use of it makes you feel uphappy.
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