A
male
age
36-40,
*rio
writes:i usually drink only on the weekends and have tried to talk with my wife but she dosen't want anything to do with alcohol of which she used to entertain before. she has gone as far as telling me that we will leave on the condition that i stop drinking of which my drinking is not that heavily. in my mind i think that my wife is trying to control me since i had told her to give me some time so as to stop the drinking on my own pace but she's not willingling.please advice and whether a conditional marriage lasts Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I'm curious as to why your wife wants you to stop drinking. If she used to enjoy drinking and now she's not into it, like Jayney says, I'm wondering if your behavior changes and you turn into someone she doesn't like when you're drunk. And hey, if you turn into a jerk or start acting in a way that makes her uncomfortable, I don't think that this ultimatum is all that bad. Usually, I discourage ultimatums, but in this case...
I think it's really dependent on a lot of different elements in your relationship. Is it good, does she feel satisfied? Is she happy? What are you like after drink #3? It's hard for me to really give you solid advice without her input and her view of the situation.
So, in turn, I encourage you to talk to her about what it going on and why she wants you to quit drinking. If it's as major of a problem to call off the marriage, then I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume it's a problem worth examining. So talk about it and good luck!
A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (9 October 2009):
 Not really enough information. Is it just the drinking, or your behaviour when you've been drinking that bothers her? I don't know about conditional marriages, but I know that 'conditional love' isn't actually love at all. You maybe need to sit down when you haven't been drinking and discuss this with her and find out exactly what it is about alcohol that bothers her. If she tells you that you are a pain in the ass when you've been drinking, you probably need to take that on board and modify your behaviour, after all, she's the one who has to live with you, so she probably does know. Good luck :)
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