A
female
age
30-35,
*ute_lily
writes:My boyfriend and I have been having sex for the past couple of months. We were both each others firsts and so far our sex has been mind blowing. BUT I'm starting to get bored of having ssex in the same positoin each time. We always have sex in the missionary position and its getting a bit boring. I tried bringing it up into our convo one day but he just totally ignored. Also, i really like getting a bit kinky and he doesn't really like that and thinks its weird. Apart from this we go really well together. He's sweet, kind, considerate, caring and adores me but this problem with sex is starting to get on my nerves. On our anniversary i even bought sexy lingerie and wore them especially for him but he didn't even appreciate them and told me off for wearing them as he felt that only couples who have nothing between them need to entice each other with things like that. That's his excuse whenever we talk about sex toys or se positions. He claims that only people who have lost their desire for each other need them. Can you please help me. I love him but the lack of spice in our sex life is beginning to bore me. What can I do? thanks Xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kamdev  +, writes (14 January 2010):
Some interval of atlist a week may increase pleasure in your sex life. Understanding love and intimacy between you both are the most powerful factor for increasing you pleasure.
Please remember,pleasure of sex is much more psychological than physical.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Well, you need to show him what you want. As 'anon' pointed out, maybe he's just a little wimpy to take charge and doesn't ACTUALLY know what to do. Why not pounce on him and go on top? Or, when he's on top, simply push him up, and turn around - giving him access to doggie style? Why not buy something simple - not too intimidating - a silky scarf? You can use it in so many ways!! They're very versatile. You can blindfold him and show him how fun it is to anticipate touches and sensations... you could also tie him up lightly and introduce him to the fun of holding back and not being able to touch you. You'll drive him crazy.
You definitely need to have a talk, but maybe he'll be more open if you address things in a fun, light, non-pressure approach. Why not go out and buy a Cosmo and have him circle all the things he'd like to try?
I think he's just nervous about disappointing you. And I think if you become more forward, you won't leave him room to fail. Give it a try and if he really is against it, it's time to get serious and have a sit down talk about how your sex is great, but it's boring you to death. His "only couples who have nothing need that stuff" theory is a bunch of crap.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009): Ok, I'm seeing two possible solutions. First, take charge. I know I love it when my girl throws me down and has her way with me. There's little sexier than a girl who knows what she wants and is willing to take it. You might want to try by a girl on top. Tell him, he'll never know if he likes it or not unless you try it.
Second, if he isn't willing to budge, this is only going to get worse. This relationship will not go where you want it to, and therefore, should be ended.
Quite frankly, you're a little young to be concerned about this. If he loves you, and wants your happiness, he'll listen. If not, he's too selfish and should be left in the dust.
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A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (6 October 2009):
 Using different positions isn't always about needing something to spice up the sex life... For some people, missionary will feel best for them, whereas other people may only enjoy it in doggy, or the girl on top...
You need to sit him down and tell him he can't simply keep on ignoring you when you bring up this subject. You know he feels about this, but I don't think he understands how you are feeling, so make it clear to him and tell him you won't let this go until he listens to you!
But one thing you can try is to go on top, don't tell him you're planning to do this, just take him by surprise. You could also try giving him a blowjob...
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