A
female
age
30-35,
*andykane
writes:Hey, I have a boyfriend, and he is now in the army.He hasn't left yet but he will in August. He just turned 18 in March. Lets call him....Rambo XD.I love Rambo with all my heart and soul. He says his job doesn't involve any combat so he cant get killed. But I am still worried about him. I wont see him for a while. We are already in a long distance relationship, but he got stationed in my state for training. I might not get to see him often, but just knowing he is closer makes me feel better. But when he goes away...I know I will have a breakdown because its already hard not seeing him.and with him just getting further and further I am afraid that when he gets back, we wont even know each other. I myself, am against him being in the army at all. But he has no other options. I hope I can stay faithfull. I wonder sometimes if we should take a break, but I think that would be wrong of me. And me being with anyone else, just wouldnt be the same. I can't be with out him :/ I know he will visit and stuff, but I just dont know how to handle this.I always said I would never be with anyone in the army...but that was before I met him. I feel...hopeless. I am just scared to death of this whole situation. Does anyone know anything I can do to keep my mind off him?I just need some kind of hope because everyone says this cant work...please tell me they are wrong
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2010): I know EXACTLY how you feel! My boyfriend is in the army as well and left last summer for work. Don't worry about his safety, he will be just fine. But I understand how hard it is because you will miss him like crazy. He will miss you too. STAY FAITHFUL because it's all worth it when he gets back. My boyfriend is leaving once again this summer and it REALLY sucks, but I can't stop him either. He loves what he does so all I can really do is be happy for him. Best advice I can give you is just go out with friends and try and keep busy. It'll be hard for the first few days, but you'll soon get into a routine. Take this time to catch up with other friends, and although he'll probably still always be on your mind, it'll be easier if you're around other people. My boyfriend ended up calling from his place, and it was the best thing in the world. Everyday I'd make sure I had my phone and I'd wait for his call. He actually ended up being able to come back home once in awhile, so hopefully the same will happen for you. Take it easy, and just know that he's missing you as much as you're going to be missing him.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Oh, sorry.
THEY ARE WRONG.
If you want it to work and you are strong, then it will work.
Trust me.
But you really do have to understand how hard it is before you make that committment. Being in the Army family is not easy. Not in the least.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (30 March 2010):
She sounds like she's 13-15.
"I hope I can stay faithful."
Cheating isn't something that takes over you. You have a choice. If you don't stay faithful, it's because you weren't strong enough. And if you go into this thinking "i hope I can stay faithful," there's a good chance you won't. You have to think " I WILL be faithful," It's your choice.
But you can't send him off to deployment where he will be away from all of his friends and family and home and the thigns that he's used to and then decide you can't wait for him. Soldiers have enough stress with the added stress of their girl friends cheating and breaking up with them.
You are thinking about yourself, but stop. Think about him.
To answer your question, when he's away, you shouldn't be trying not to think of him. WHy would you want to do that? That's only more likely to get you thinking of some other guy. The trick to being apart from someone is to keep yourself busy and still think about him/her. The busier you are, the more quickly your days will pass. It's ok to miss him, it's not ok to sit around all day sulking because you miss him.
Distance can either make the heart grow fonder or forgetful. You can choose by the way you handle his absense.
~sy
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A
female
reader, kandykane +, writes (30 March 2010):
kandykane is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot for that. It made me feel a little better. Im an artist too actually. I think I will put more time into my art...Three years is a long time though...
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (30 March 2010):
 Hello my darling,
I married an artist. I'm a theater girl. As you can imagine, we're not really the typical "military type". But life happened, one thing lead to another, and now he's a Marine. It's been really hard, because 8 days after we tied the knot, he had to leave me and move across the country. One year later, he's still there and I just found out a few days ago that he's being stationed in Hawaii. Yeah, it sounds great... and there's a lot of bright sides... but it's even farther away than he is now. And more pricey to see him. So, I feel your pain of being far apart. It sucks.
Military life is not anything I expected. It's a LOT harder than I bargained for, and takes a lot of strength on both sides. It's particularly hard if the military is not something that you're always whole-heartedly behind. What I have found that helps is finding something, anything that you can really get aggressive and work hard at. I've put myself full-force into school, and I've been making myself incredibly busy learning as much as I can and adding new skills to my repertoire. I'm about to get two bachelors and I'm busy applying to graduate schools - hey, he still has 3 years to go. By then, maybe they can officially call me Doctor!!
So I'm bettering myself as a distraction. I'm also really enjoying spending quality time with my family and my girlfriends.
You're pretty young and that's got to be extra tough. I can't imagine being younger and dealing with all this stuff. But, he does live pretty close to you and you'll get to visit a lot. You guys can get creative with the way you express your love - you can send postcards, letters, care packages...
Don't stay with him because you'll feel guilty if you don't. That's not a good reason! If you are with him because you'll feel bad if you break up with him, girl you are far too young to be worrying about that. Have fun! Be young! Don't weigh yourself down with guilt. He'll be okay, he's surrounded by male support. But, if you really want this relationship to work, it totally can... it'll just take patience, loyalty and a drive to fill up your time. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to look on the bright side. It's a challenge, but it'll get you through every day. The bright side? You've got a great guy who will really know how to iron clothes and make a bed (seriously, military guys know how to clean!!).
Good luck, sweetness. One day at a time! Find fun activities to busy yourself with!! It CAN work!! (It's working for me!)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2010): Sweetie, did you type your age in correctly?
It says you're only 13-15?
Well, if you truly love him, don't keep your mind off him. Keep your mind and heart near him and hope for the best!! Spend all the time you can with him now, before her leaves.
Best of luck!
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