A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 15 years old, almost 16, and my girlfriend is 16. We have been together for 6 months, but we were friends before this. We are deeply in love, and care hugely for one another - the thought of losing her makes me feel physically sick. We are both virgins, but have done some oral (blowjobs), handjobs, and I have fingered her a little. We now feel ready and mature enough to have sex (with a condom obviously). When I've been fingering her she has found it quite painful when I reached her hymen, and I want to know how to make it as painless as possible. I worry that it will be too painful and she will not wish to try again ever. I can't even fit two fingers into her, even though she gets REALLY wet, so I don't know how I will get my penis into her, which is big-ish. Thanks in advance people! :)
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both virgins, condom, fingering, hand-job, hymen, my penis, really wet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gwenabee +, writes (16 April 2010):
 Heya, I asked my boyfriend of over a year about his first time, and he said it was very awkward, even though he loved this girl and she wasn't a virgin, it was still awkward. He also said don't overthink it, and I agree, I think the first time you have intercourse really isn't all it's cracked up to be. Of course this could just be our experiences of it, but just make sure you don't feel disappointed if you don't last long or feel anything ;)
Also, from the girl perspective, my first time was VERY painful (be prepared for a little blood, keep tissue and ibuprofen for her handy), but as long as you go sloooowly, don't get too overexcited, and KEEP TALKING. That part is essential, get her to tell you if it's hurting, tell her you love her, and make sure both of you are comfortable to ask to stop.
Sex for her will probably hurt the first few times you do it, personally, I've been having sex for about a year now, and I still get the occasional twinge. Just relax her, and remember FOREPLAY IS KEY.
I'm glad that you're being sensible and remembering to use a condom, be sure to have plenty around, as after the first time it gets a little addictive ;) Also; is your girlfriend on any kind of birth control? I use the implant, which is 99%+ effective, but remember it doesn't protect against STI's. I've had the implant since just after losing my virginity, haven't used condoms in almost a year and haven't gotten pregnant. If you're going to use this method, ensure that she regularly goes to an NHS walk in centre, where pregnancy tests are free for under 22's.
I hope this was helpful, and if you have any further questions just ask!! :D xx
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 Well, if you really, honestly are going to do this, the key is to relax and take things super slowly. It may take several, several tries before you get all the way in, and several, several times before the sex gets good (at least for her). If you want her to relax TOTALLY, then you should go to Planned Parenthood (or the like out there in England. Great if you parents go with you, but they don't have to... you can also go confidentially) and talk to your doctor about birth control and being as safe as you can be. Trust me, you'll really be able to totally relax and just have FUN if you go into things super educated.
Keep exploring eachother's bodies. The longer you wait for sex and concentrate on all the other stuff, the better the sex will be when you get there. And about the fingers? Fingers are different from a penis. And, they can get uncomfortable. Hell, I've been having sex for awhile now and I still don't really enjoy having multiple fingers in me.
When she and her body are ready, they will let you know. Maybe she's in so much pain because she's just not ready. But, when she is, the key is to take things SUPER slow and don't expect it to happen right away. It took me and my fella a MONTH of dutifully trying before he got all the way inside of me. But, there was a lot of laughter, smiles and fun along the way. So, don't put pressure on yourself and her and take it easy.
Good luck, sweetness.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): Dont Do it im 22 yrs old with a 6 year old little girl....I was 16 and sex changes shit and having to take care of a kid while being a teen is crazy..I love my lil girl and would never give her up. So be smart always wrap ur shit and as far as hurting ur girl friend buy some lube.
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A
male
reader, Goodguy84 +, writes (13 April 2010):
Dude, I have a career with job security, an apartment, a car, little bit a cash in the bank, and I'm 26. If I had a child right now, I would be screwed, so, take the clue man. However, losing my virginity wasn't really a big deal. I don't know if its the same for girls, but me personally, wasn't too big of a deal.If you wanna do it, wrap it before you tap it. And when in doubt, pull out! And just like an oil filter, change it out when the oil gets used.
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