A
male
age
30-35,
*aewood
writes:I am in a long distance relationship with my girl for over two months, how do we survive, what are the dos and don'ts,because i have heard that it rarely works. If u have been in one before,your help we be appreciated.
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female
reader, el Lori  +, writes (23 April 2010):
 I believe it can work but like any relationship it takes two people. Both of you have to be ready to put in the work to maintain. Keep things interestings talk different through email, phone, and webcam. Take breaks once in awhile too like any close distance relationships. best of luck to you both. I really hope it works out :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): There are a lot of great answers here, I just wanted to tell you that I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years and we are getting married in July. When he first moved after we'd been dating for awhile I had so many people say "it doesn't work" and "you'll get bored", but if you're really with the right person you can make it work as long as both people are committed to the same goal: being together. Good luck!
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female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Actually, I got to thinking more about this later. Not only do you need to be trustworthy (as you do anyway!) -but it also becomes sensitive for you to also 'be seen to be trustworthy'. If you give the other person any reason to suspect that you're not committed, then the distance only breeds doubt.Forget playing games to keep an element of mystery- the distance adds quite enough of that already! Consistantly make every effort to reassure your partner -and explain to them that you both need to be completely open with each other for exactly this reason.Even down to the level of trying to reply (relatively!) quickly to texts when you're out with people can bolster the other partner's confidence and trust in you; and hopefully it'll encourage them to do the same for you in return. -And as time goes on, any concerns will most likely disappear.A distance relationship is only worth everyone's effort whilst both partners are comfortable and committed, so you have any doubts, you need to be honest with the other partner.Keep everything above board and as 'open book' as you both feel comfortable with. Finally.... tell them when you miss them; and then try and do somthing about it!
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female
reader, Share Bear +, writes (19 April 2010):
I find it strange when people say universally that long distance relationships don't work.
Imagine the love of your life, assuming that they love you as much as you love them; no distance in the world would make me give up on that!
And since every relationship is different, so every long distance is different. But you need love, trust and oodles of communication. And as many physical meetings as possible!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): I would love to share this with you.I faced the same situation almost a year ago.I am an Indian girl and he is a British guy.We are both around 25 and met last year in India.We were attracted to each other and got along really well.He had to go back to London.There was a distance of 4500 miles between us.We stayed in touch by msn/phone calls.We talked to each other everyday.Whatever happened between us is hard to explain but we felt this affinity.We cared so much for each other.It was impossible to imagine my life without him. Whenever he was away on his unscheduled flights and we couldn't talk to each other...we felt that our relation got stronger cuz of the distance.We feel for each other in all ways-physical,emotional.We met recently and he told me that he wants to marry me.We are getting married soon.To be honest,I thought about cutting contact after 1 or 2 weeks.I had my doubts.The only reason was the distance.I even talked to him about this.But then I decided to listen to my heart.I could imagine a future with him though we don't belong to same country/religion/culture/profession.Every couple is different.But I have found my soulmate by taking risk of being left with a broken heart.It wasn't easy in the beginning.I didn't want his heart to be broken if it didn't work out.But it was a risk worth taking.The chance of love is worth the risk of a broken heart.Hope my experience helps you in some way.Can you imagine a future with her?If yes then be together.LDRs work if right people are involved who truly love each other and when there is trust.
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female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 April 2010):
 It's very simple. First - have the drive to be together. Be in love. Have the excitement to make it work. All that other great advice you received.
Most importantly, trust each other. And be trustworthy.
That is the essential tool to make a long distance relationship work. Trust each other. Be trustworthy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010): me & my boyfriend do it.
ongoing conversations keep us going, texting a lot, calling whenever we've got a spare few minutes, to make sure we're both okay (but not all the time!!)
we try to see each other as much as possible, it costs alot of money but it's worth it. we always make dates, then we've got something to look forward to (again the ongoing thing..)
& i actually think it's just made us appreciate each other more.
i think aswell, arguing is good when your far apart from each other because 1) you shouldn't have too much to argue about & 2) you don't want to be mad with each other when your not together, you don't want to have fallen out & not just be there to make up.
just keep communicating & showing you care
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female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (17 April 2010):
 When we met, we lived a couple of hours apart. He spent weekends at my place, or half-weekends. Or perhaps alternate weekends, whatever suits where you take it in turns, one time at your place, his another time. Even if you are apart, you can arrange for phone calls, even if it's brief, which makes all the difference. E-mails, texts, anything that works, that brings you closer, if circumstances mean you are apart. Clearly in the long run it's not ideal and you need to find a way of being nearer, but a year or two is one thing.
Plus, I believe you can wear out a relationship, if you are together everyday anyway, and reach arguments sooner.
Fiona
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female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I was in a long distance relationship for a while. He lived in Seattle, I lived in Arizona. We met over MySpace. We were in long distance for nine months until I moved up to Seattle to be with him. When we started living together, things went downhill quickly. You really don't know a person until you can physically be around them, which is where most long distance relationships fail. Two things you need in ANY relationship, especially long-distance: Trust and communication. My long distance boyfriend and I broke up a couple times because we couldn't trust each other. He always chatted with other girls online, and I kept finding out about it, and then retaliating and chatting with other guys, which then he would in turn find out about. Also, it depends on where the two people live and what kind of people they are. I was living in a VERY small town at the time, so I didn't interact with many people to begin with. He lived in one of the busiest and most crowded cities in the U.S., but he was extremely shy, and didn't want to do anything but make time for me. So it helped us with making enough time for one another. But once I got out of that small town, and started living in the real world, I realized that we were no match, and that was it. We ended things within six months. I hope things work out with you two. But please be realistic about it. If you haven't spent much time together in person, chances are that once you are together, it's going to paint an entirely different picture of them than you had built up in your mind from phone conversations, or pictures, or webcam chats. Trust me...
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A
male
reader, Daewood +, writes (17 April 2010):
Daewood is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for taking your time to help. Thanks very much.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I wont talk about what *SHE* "has" to do,I will talk about what a guy needs to do. I've had a long distance relationship that didn't work,so I am talking from experience.
First of all,you gotta make her feel WANTED. Just because you're not with each other PHYSICALLY,does not mean you should only focus on the TALKING and pretend you guys do not share a sexual relationship. It's ok if you're not the best in online intimacy.Embrace it as an opportunity to LEARN how to become the best you can be. Read articles about how to dirty talk to women over the phone,internet etc. The risk of you not doing is this,is that she will start looking at you solely as a friend and not as a boyfriend.
Once you've stimulated her enough to make her think of having sex with you,focus on the other parts of the LDR.
MIR (Most Important Rule) - See her often. Yes,LDRs need sacrifices,so if your not willing to sacrifice your time,or money you shouldn't be with her.
Secondly,CALL HER. Make your calls interesting. Don't build a routine where you'll call her for 10 mins everyday,the same exact hour. Spice things up. Call her to say goodmorning one time,next time call her to say goodnight. You have to keep the "UNPREDICTABLE ELEMENT" as you would do in every other healthy relationship.
Third Rule...DRAMA. Yep,I never thought I would suggest bringing drama into the relationship but truth is,if things are extremely calm and perfect both of you will get bored. Just like real life contains drama,your LDR should have some drama in it as well. Dont make things too easy for her.Let her get a little jealous.The more "white" fights,the more making up you will have to do,the more the bonding between you will be.
However,I suggest that all this work for a temporary LDR.
If you plan on being with that girl forever with you living miles apart from each other,it simply will not work.
Best of Luck
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (17 April 2010):
 DO'S - Do not get involved in one.
DON'TS - Don't get involved in one.
Coz, yeah, they rarely work, and in any case certainly do not feed those in it with the full gamut of what relationships survive on.
Sorry.
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A
female
reader, oliviaclairex +, writes (17 April 2010):
 I've been in one, we lived about an hour bus away. It was a summer thing, and then I decided it wouldn't work (but that was mainly because I had my GCSE's).
I think it can definately work, who's to say it can't,
it depends on; how much you like each other, and what type of people you are.
Are you a type of person who is really affectionate and wants to be with the other person all the time, or is she?
And trust is a massive massive issue when it comes to this, because you don't see each other by the snap of your fingers so it gets hard thinking about what the other one is doing.
I suggest you just have phone calls quiet frequently, it passes time so fast when not seeing someone, have a webcam and chat on msn or whatever if you do, and then when you see each other make sure you have the time of your life:)
All i can say is, see how it goes, and in the end if it's not working you'll know 'cause you simply won't be the happiest you can be.
Much luckkk xxxxxxxxxxxx
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