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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: A week ago, I went for a walk with an engaged guy, and somehow we ended up kissing and feeling each other up. The day after, we met up and things went further (but we didn't sleep together or anything.) The thing is, I am 15 and have never had much experience with guys...I know this is no excuse. He is 23. I now feel so, so guilty and I have called the whole thing off. But now, I am wondering if I should tell his fiancee. She's lovely and I don't know how I could have done something like this to her - but if I do tell her, the entire engagement will be called off and everyone will hate me. But if I don't tell her and she finds out...What should I do?
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 he is a pedophile and a cheater...you have to tell her...
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 It is only your words and do you think his fiance would believe you over him ? Do you have any concrete evidence like video's or pixs to prove what you are telling her ?
Put yourself in her shoes, a girl comes and tell you that kind of story would you believe her?
If you are going to tell her, you will bear all the repercussions and the aftermaths.
Will you be able to carry the guilt of breaking up their engagements?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 May 2010):
 If you were older, I'd probably suggest not saying anything. But, you are fifteen, and you seem to be pretty smart. You know that he's behaving like a perv, and if he's willing to get frisky with a teenager, that's a pretty big red flag. I would tell her - she needs to know what she's getting into, and I honestly believe that telling her is the right thing to do.
I would hate to be her and find out after the wedding that my husband cheated on me with a high schooler (no offense, really you do seem sweet and smart), I would be IRATE and would really regret marrying him. So, while she may be pretty pissed off when you tell her, know that ultimately you're doing the right thing and could be saving her from marrying a creeper.
Good luck, sweetness!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): Nooooo dnt say anything you would mess everything between them is not your bussines.. you dnt kiss and tell. That's a big no.. you just goatta leave things how they were before that happen
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): omg you deffiently should tell his fiance... she is making a life decision.this man is a pervert!!!! no one will hate you if you tell because he knows better!!! im 18 so i understand what your going through.. trust me youll do much more damage if you dont say anything..do whats right and put yourself in this womans shoes would you want to marry a man who cheats on you?????TELL!!!
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A
female
reader, irishgirlm  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 Tell her! If it was u you would wanna know.. Marriage is built on trust and it's destroyed now
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): FA is right.
This ADULT man was taking advantage of an underage child. Any sexual advances on his part, including oral sex, and sexual touching is considered to be rape. In the UK, the legal age of consent is 16. (Altho I see you lied about your age when you signed up).
This man is cheating on his soon to be wife, who thinks she is marrying a lovely, committed man. She is being lied to, and she doesnt deserve that.
I can almost guarantee, you are not the only one he has done this with. No normal man of 23 would go anywhere near a 15 year old, so how many other women of his own age has he got his eye on. How will she feel if 10 years down the line she finds out he has been unfaithful multiple times? Will knowing NOW save her heartache in the longrun?
How would you feel if you were her? Would you want to know the truth?
I know at 15 you are full of hormones and flattered by the attention from an older guy, but he is trouble, and a cheat, and is using you.
This is where you have to grow up. Yes people may think badly of you, and you feel guilty, but that is a consequence of your actions. YOU decided to do this with him on multiple days. You could have said no, and you could have not done anything else with him. You COULD have backed off and done the right thing. But you chose not to.
You must do what feels right now, and what you would want to know if the shoe was on the other foot. Put yourself in her shoes. I would not want to be married to a man who thought it was ok to abuse children.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (5 May 2010):
If you don't tell her, you would be condemning this lovely woman to a life with a man who cheats on her.
You have to let her know.
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female
reader, lil_g +, writes (5 May 2010):
Personally, i probably wouldn't tell her. Im not a snitch.
But its hard to say, because if you have a good relationship with her, if you care about her, then ya, maybe you should tell her. Im not sure, like i said, i don't snitch & i hate pinche ratas(fucking rats). Do what you feel is right. Don't beat yourself up over it and definitely don't blame yourself. Good luck
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (5 May 2010):
 You don't need to feel guilty for being taken advantage of. Talk to your parents. Legally you were led astray by a mature adult. Yes people are going to get hurt. A marriage may not happen because of this. The question to ask is should that marriage take place. Would you rather that his lovely finance get hurt later after they get married and he is still chasing underage girls? What if he goes further with the next girl and ends up in jail for sex with a minor? Wouldn't that hurt her more?
Being engaged is a commitment not to do what he did. He broke that commitment. Legally you were led astray by a mature adult. If you feel guilty for participating, all you can do is to do your best to make it right to her. One way is making sure he can't do it again.
FA
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A
female
reader, t3nstars  +, writes (5 May 2010):
I always believe honesty to be the best policy in life. However, in your case, there are going to be so many repercussions! think long and hard before making your decision.
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