A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone. Lately I have been very confused about my relationship with my boyfriend. I love him very much and we have a beautiful history. Before I would never think of anyone or anything else but him. If we were apart I would miss him dearly and I couldn't get enough of him. It has been five years with him and I have loved it. I still do.But...we went through a really bad time for about a year. He was the sweetest guy in the world, treated me wonderfully with respect and love but then he did a whole 180 and changed! For a long time, he would say mean/rude things to me, not understand my insecurity when he met another female, and break up with me and say "I don't know if I want to be with you anymore" and even "I am not in love with you anymore", everytime we would have a big argument/disagreement. He would leave and I wasn't allowed to speak to him or see him. This killed me so much to the point where I would get drunk and throw up, stay up all night crying or be miserable just thinking about why he would act this way with me when all I wanted was to love him with every inch of me, and I did. He's really hurt me a lot, but I always forgave him and took him back. He is much better again and we haven't had an argument in forever. He's the sweetest thing again and always wants to be all over me again.However now that he is back, I am different. I have been hanging out with my friends a lot lately and I barely miss him. I met another guy, who I am now friends with and last week he gave me a warm hug and a kiss on the neck. I felt so guilty and told him I had to leave immediately. Now I can't stop thinking about him and I feel like my feelings are fading for my boyfriend.What's going on? I always said I wanted to marry and grow old with my boyfriend, but now I am unsure. I love him but I don't know if he is right for me anymore. But I don't want to throw everything away. I feel like this can still work because I love him dearly. I always have. What do I do? And why is this happening? Anyone else gone through this? Please help! And sorry if its long!
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010): i am in the same sitution...i actually gota a divorce for the person i though i cudnt breathe without ( my ex) and now he loves me alot and would do anything to get me but for some reason his love is not giving me the same butterflies tht i use to get beofre when i use to think abt him...its bcuz my love has died for him i guess bcuz of the shit he made me go thru... what am trying to say is..when you love somone and forgive for evry bad thing ur love does and still treats u like shit and now when u actally found someoone who actually cares abt ur feeling and now ur ex is wanting to com back bcuz he sees you can move on...i dont suggest goin back to him just bcuz now the arguments r gona get even worse bcuz if u go back to him, he will see tht he can play u anyway bcuz u love him so smuch and cant go away from him...why r u gona do the same thing to the new guy wut ur ex did with u.. remember the feeling u went thru...only if ur current bf loves u otherwise choice is urs...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou're right TasteofIndia. I haven't gotten the chance to be single and just enjoy myself. I wish things didn't have to be this way because I really do love him. This is going to be a difficult decision. =\
Thank you for your answer!
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (2 May 2010):
 Hey, you're older and wiser. And, enjoying your youth by doing things you ought to be doing hanging out with your friends, flirting with fellas... you ought to have this whole experience. No shame in enjoying the single life. Particularly because you've spent the last 5 years of your life in a pretty intense relationship!
You've got to have time to just relax and enjoy yourself without having anyone else relying heavily on you. You'll have that someday - a husband, kids. But right now, you need time for YOU, to build yourself up (especially after being torn down emotionally).
If you love him and he loves you and you're meant to be together, it'll happen. But there's no need to push yourself into a relationship. I have a feeling that if you force this relationship into/onto your life, you'll just end up resenting him and wondering what could have been. You just need some space to be with yourself and figure out what it is that you really want. Besides, he needs to do some thinking too and really evaluate what made him such a jerk for that dreadful year. And, remember - that side of him hasn't disappeared, merely subsided.
So give yourself time to enjoy the single life. Maybe your feelings for your boyfriend will fade or grow - give your heart time to figure it out. Good luck, sweetness!
...............................
|
