A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so I have a serious problem. I am seriously in love with one of my teachers and it has all gotten so out of hand. I am 16 and he is 35 - I know it's a huge age range but I am really in love with him. It's not just a crush, it's real love. I know that sounds really soppy and you may think that I'm just an infatuated teenager but I have truly never felt this kind of immense feeling for anybody else. I know that nothing will ever be able to happen between us but it doesn't help the way that I feel.He's my science teacher and has been for the past two years. I have come to really like him and it's gradually developed into an unhealthy obsession. I find myself looking for him wherever I go and then deliberately going places where he normally is just to see his face and say hello. I look forward to our lessons so much and it hurts me when he is absent. He can makes me so happy just by smiling at me and he can brighten up even the darkest of days. I know that sounds so corny but that’s how I feel. He doesn’t feel exactly reciprocate my feelings but I think that I am his favourite student. He treats me slightly differently to everybody else; he nominated me for a science award even though there were a few others in my class who would be more deserving of the award. Like I mentioned before, I know that it is an impossible relationship. He is married with children. I know that he would never want me that way. I’ll never be more than his favourite student. I don’t think I would ever cross that boundary anyway to be honest. I just enjoy his company so much. However, I have a dilemma, he is preparing to leave to go to a different school. When I found out this news, I was distraught (and I still am) I found out a few weeks ago and I’ve never been the same. I have become depressed and lost the will to smile and laugh. It’s taking a toll of my family and friends but I can’t physically make myself be happy when his departure looms so close.
View related questions:
crush, depressed, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Gah. Love, crush, infatuation, obsession; it's all the same on an evolutionary basis. When you think about it our hormones don't give a crap if we're crushing or in "true love". In this way I don't really believe in true love (sometimes I think way too scientifically, to the point it's depressing, lol...). Though I do understand feeling very different for one person than anyone else before.I feel nearly the EXACT same way about my teacher, except he's older than yours; I mean even his children are a little older than me (plus I'm younger than you!), ugh, and he's not my teacher anymore (I'm still in the same school as him but I won't be next year :( and I hardly see him this year anyway). My thought process has changed this year after going 5 months without seeing him any more than 3 brief times. This year I'm verging on being depressed. It's so cliche but I do not see a reason for life. I swear, I'm not just being an idiotic teenager: I have never felt this way about anyone. So yeah, I know how you feel... I apologize for being so completely unhelpful to you but I guess I just wanted to let you know I understand what you're going through and I wish you good luck in getting over this quickly and not TOO painfully... :(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): I feel the EXACT same way about my teacher. I'm 13 (soon to be 14) and he just turned 24. I love him more than myself. He is so nice, and lets me get away with everything. He'll do things for me that he would NEVER do for other students. He's not married, nor dating anyone. He's my first cousin's best friend, and he's absolutely amazing. I know it sounds stereotypical too, and I don't care because it's not. I don't want to even think about the fact that I won't see him next year because I'm moving schools. On the weekends, I miss him dearly. I hate when people tell me I have no chance with him, because there's this connection I get with him that I've never felt before and I know it's special. After this school year ends I'm going to stay in touch with him... that's all I know to do.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): June; thanks so much for your advice, it was very comforting and helpful. It's nice to know that someone else is experiencing the same things as I am. So, thanks again for your comment.
Thank you to everybody else who has given me comments as well. Some of them have made me think a lot.
...............................
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (5 May 2010):
 Relax! A crush is a crush, and even if it seems like there's no possible way that it'll ever fade, rest assured that IT WILL. Especially that he's switching schools, unless you force yourself to continue reacting and feeling that pain, the hurt will lessen day by day and you will get over it.
If you really feel that it's too overwhelming, talk to a therapist or a counselor and that will help you along. Good luck, sweetness. This won't haunt you forever!
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (5 May 2010):
 You have a crush on your teacher it happens, eventually this feeling will fade away. Find yourself a boy your own age and start dating little by little the feeling you have your teacher will disappear.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): No offence but this is your sterotypical crush, I was the same then
one day it just stopped, I still fancy a few teachers but I'm realistic - I don't have a chance they see me as a kid and I'm not as experienced in any way as them!
...............................
A
female
reader, KateMcL  +, writes (5 May 2010):
 I know exactly how you feel hun..just the smallest things make my day..a simple smile or just saying my name makes me go weak at the knees..He has been my woodwork teacher for the past 3 years..I only have 4 weeks of class left with him until I finish my time of being his student.
He`s 13 years older than me & single which makes it hard to deal with seeing as all I want to be is his girlfriend..but I know it will never happen..Ive always been attracted to older guys..I dont like anyone at all in my school except him.
Hun..eventually as hard as it sounds..you and I will move on with our lives..you will look back on your fawning over him as a little crush and you might be probably embarassed too!..soon enough hun when he leaves and has been gone for a few months you will start to possibly forget thinking of him...the hard reality is he is married to a woman he loves dearly and has children just like you..like you said its not like he hasnt a clue about you..you probably are and will always be a favourite student of his.
I do believe that you may possibly love this man..because I like yourself have never felt this way..and I fear that we might be actually in love with the idea of "being in love" with our said teachers,but for now dont be sad..enjoy these last few weeks with your teacher..because I know I am trying too with mine.
Good luck
June xx
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 May 2010):
 Relax, take deep breaths. Once he's gone your crush will fade and you will regain that will to smile and laugh. This is a crush by the way and they do not last.
...............................
|
