A
male
age
30-35,
*ndrew brown
writes:I really dont know what to do any more, and I need help. I have 1 son with my partner and I have brought up her other son from birth as my own, cos at one point we split up and slept with someone and got pregnant but since then we sorted things out and got back together, things where ok at the start but slowly decreased. We are both to blame for that but I know I was nasty to her, I used to use the child that was not mine against her when she annoyed me which was wrong I know and used to insult her when she upset or annoyed me, but I thought we where doing ok, until I woke up on the 20th of April 2010 at 8.30am to find that her and both of the kids where gone. Like I said I used to put her down and say things I never meant to them, it was out of frustration. I love her 2 pieces and want to see my boys because I have not seen them since and do not no where they are, I still love her so much even though she has ran away with the kids, she is me soul mate, she is my heart beat and she is my oxygen in my body, without her I'm nothing and I need help and ways to try and get her back because at the moment she does not want anything to do with me again.I also feel I could have a something wrong with me like a split personality because when I'm with her I'm nice one day but not the next but when we split up I can't live without her, it's like when I'm with her I'm someone horrible but when we split up I'm then the man she wanted to be with and should be when we're together. I need help to be the right person when I'm with her, not when we split up.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): I recommend counseling also. There's obviously something causing distress when you're together - that your behavior becomes bad when you're with her is a sign something is amiss.
Counceling may be a solution to that.
If you just go back together without working your issues out, chances are high the bad behavior would return. (And that applies to both of you, she may be doing bad things too.)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Before you go begging for her back, find a therapist who you like and go to a session or two. Show her that you have the drive to change and that you're going to ACTUALLY do something about it. She may be sick of empty promises and your dual personality. So, if you show her that you're actually going to take action, she may take you more seriously and appreciate the effort. And then, follow through... show her your commitment and acknowledgment of what you've done wrong. Good luck, sweetness!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): Tell her all of which you realized- that being what you stated here. You understand that you take out on her your unresolved issues of the past break up in which she got pregnant whom you raise as your own.
Suggest to her you want to see counciling- together, to find better communication and help you work through this burden you face.
Remind her how much you love her and you understand serious changes are to be made, especially on your part and this is what you want to do to fix them.
Do it. If you want your family back!
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 The feeling you express here, is needed to communicate to her heart, and you will have your partner back, but it is also sure that you cannot valued her presence, as you now valued her absence. Such one is negative attitudes towards values itself. Now decide to be wise to value that which is worth to your life.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 April 2010):
Well you need to get yourself sorted.
Go and see your GP or someone to see what could cause you to be such a bad partner to her. Do you drink or do anything else that makes you worse? If so, stop it.
Once you have got yourself sorted out you can find her and beg her to take you back.
Good Luck!! xx
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