A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I'm a flirt. A natural flirt. Once I realised I was attractive to men, it became my way of relating to men. Trouble is, I am deeply in love with someone who reacts badly to other men paying me attention, and my knee-jerk response of flirting back. I mean nothing by it. I just revel in the attention. How do I let him know he is the only one, my only one....without having to say it (there's a reason I can't say it)
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (20 September 2010):
 Why can't you tell him how you feel? He isn't married is he?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo, eyeswideopen, you may not understand. I don't flirt consciously. I do it because that's the way I've learned, over time, to relate to men, because I was once a very attractive young woman, and they played the game with me - in fact they most often start it - it is not all my doing. So, it isn't because he is just another one. If you mean he'll think he is just another one, yes, I know that. That's why I asked the question. To be honest I probably also do it because I want him to see other men find me desirable. (As I said, it is complicated, can't divulge) I don't need to prove it to him, I guess. I know what he thinks and that should be enough.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your help, everyone. Excellent advice. As I mentioned, I cannot tell him how I feel (it's complicated) but I think I need to show him he is the only one by cutting out the flirting with EVERYONE ELSE who approaches me.
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A
male
reader, jimrich +, writes (17 September 2010):
IMO, his issue is his own low/bad self worth/esteem. If he had good self esteem and confidence, your flirting (tho offensive, IMO) would not bother him so much AND he would know how and when to confront your behavior. I sure wouldn't want my babe to be a 'natural flirt' while telling me I am her 'only one' - it's insulting and I'd tell her so.Your 'flirting' needs to be examined.His insecurity needs to be fixed or there will always be trouble. Tell him to google: self worthre: How do I let him know he is the only one, my only one....without having to say it (there's a reason I can't say it).... Stop flirting for one thing! Then send him to self esteem training!good luck fixing both of your problems.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Listen, a little flirting is okay. You know, giggling at that joke that the electrician made and then going back to your business. But what you're not making clear here is just how far your flirting goes, and just how upset your boyfriend is getting. I can't tell if you really are flirting too much and toeing the line of what's appropriate while in a relationship, or if your boyfriend is over sensitive and needs to reel in his jealousy.
I think that you need to think about what you can do to make this better. Are you taking your flirting too far with fellas? Be honest with yourself. If he flirted with women the way that you flirt with men, would it get under your skin? Try to be more understanding, and if he's really The One, it won't be as challenging to hold back your flirty behavior. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, roysten  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 I understand your predicament, it's the same for all attractive women. But remember you have a choice here, you can rise above that, it's not like anyone is forcing you to send out sexual signals to other males all the time... as a male lets just say I cant really sympathise too much. If the man you love has limits you need to respect them. By doing so you show respect for your relationship with him... you get the idea? If your not comfortable with his limits you should talk it out with him and explain where your coming from on this. All actions have consequences, reveling in the attention of these other men may seem harmless for you ( As I'm sure you tell yourself you love just him) but it leads men on and his frustration is understandable :).
Interested to hear your response on this one :)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (17 September 2010):
If you revel in attention from other men then he isn't really your "only one" he's just another one.
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