A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:for a good part of my life i have felt like i was really a guy but never told anyone. now i want to start going to therapy and maybe transitioning from "female" to male. the main problem is my mother, who i know wont understand or approve of this. how do i tell her about how im feeling and try to make her understand and accept what im going through?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (3 July 2010):
 Check out: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2
I know a lot of people who have transitioned to other genders (I grew up in a cool town), and I know that PFLAG has helped a lot of them, and given them a warm support base. Maybe you can find a counselor or just some friends who have gone through the same thing, and they can give you advice. Often before making the change officially, they insist that you go for therapy for awhile, to help you make the mental transition and to completely prepare for the huge life change you'll be making - maybe you can stay your sessions, and I'm sure that you'll get to talk about how to come out to your mother about your decision.
Don't expect your Mother to be hopping with joy, she will probably need some time to adjust no matter how you tell her. Just remember that ultimately - all parents just want their children to be happy, no matter what that happiness means. Just be honest, and try to stay positive. The more nervous and anxious you are, the more nervous and anxious she'll be. Keep smiling, and keep confident that this choice is the right one for you.
Good luck, sweetness!
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (2 July 2010):
 Something like this you can't expect your mother, or anybody else for that matter, to understand or accept immediately. You, yourself, said "for a good part of your life" so it has taken you a while to be comfortable with the idea as well.
I suggest approaching it very seriously with her. Show her this is not just a simple "phase" and that it's been something on your mind for a very long time. Be patient with her. Don't get defensive if she gets upset. Her first impulse will be denial. Give her time to get used to it and in time she will accept you for you no matter what.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (2 July 2010):
 you will need to sit down with her and explain your feelings and make sure she realizes you're serious about how you feel. It all depends on your mom's personality and whatnot, just tell her the reasons you want to change and go from there
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