A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:When my wife and I have sex I try to give a lot of foreplay but she always stops me and rolls me on top of her(missionary position)and then takes over and does not let me move much. She rubs that sensitive area on me and I cum within a minute or 2 and she doesn't orgasm. Thats why I want more foreplay with her so she could orgasm before I even get started. I tell her we should try different things but she is in the same routine with no satisfaction on her side. It makes sex dull for me and I told her that. Turning her on is what turns me on the most. I would appreciate any help!
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male
reader, Itxi  +, writes (18 September 2010):
 Heck, try to not force it. Yet at the same time be in control.
You've known her a long time so you must know what turns her on by now. Just have fun exploring eachother and don't build it up into a 'we must do this, we must both orgasm' thing. If you focus on having fun the foreplay can go on for hours without you even noticing, and I bet she wont either.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 September 2010):
 I admit that I've known this rut in the past. Sometimes it's a lot easier not to even bother with getting pleasure for yourself, because it's too much effort, maybe it's hard for her to orgasm, maybe she's got "lady issues", maybe she's just feeling emotionally tired, or hey - maybe just TIRED or maybe your new move in bed isn't doing anything for her and she doesn't know how to say it. Or, perhaps she's just not quite in the mood like you are and doesn't think she'll start simmering up.
But, some good ways of giving her pleasure and getting her into the mood? Why not offer her a nice long massage? That can be very physically stimulating and sexy and a fun method of foreplay. Or, try to create foreplay all day - tease each other, flirt, send sexy text messages, be creating a sexual mood all day so that you're ready to rip each others clothes off by the time you get home or get into bed.
It seems that both of you have good intents. Something is up with her, yet she still makes the effort and wants to please you. But, 'turning her on" is what turns you on the most. That shows a real love and passion for her. So, both of you clearly care for each other! It's very sweet.
Good luck!
P.S. If she is around your age, could it be she is going through menopause and her libido has taken a dive? You also may want to think about seeing a doctor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2010): Hey, I completely understand where you're coming from but instead my boyfriend was having these issues with me, different circumstances but same type of issue.
Let her know everything that's going on, and let her know that YOU want to make HER feel good too, and that you want to have longer lasting sex because you care about her and love her. Let it all be known to her, and make sure she can respect you and your decision.
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