A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So, my wife really gets off on hearing about my sexual fantasies. She often asks me to tell her, " what were you thinking about last time you masturbated.". Then I will tell her, WHATEVER it was, be it having sex with our next door neighbor, the Highschool girl that was jogging in front of me on the track, the secretary at the office who bends over a little too low, maybe even my wife getting tag-teamed by the two guys she was talking to at a party we both attended.Problem is, I would like her to return the favor. I would be pretty excited to hear about what gets her off. She says she doesn't really think of anything, that's why she always asks me. Maybe she might think of a movie star in sort of a very bland way e.g. brad Pit cleaning the pool without his shirt on.Is this true of all women, or just my wife? Is it only men who have this constant porno record button going on in their head? Or, do you think her fantasies are so weird she is embarrassed to tell me? What do women think about - is it really only corny bland scenarios where Brad Pitt is cleaning the pool, or George Clooney buys them a drink? Is that the best they can do? BORING!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't think my fantasies are hotter than everyone else's. Quite the contrary, I am bored with repeating them (at my wife's request). I was just hopeful that she had something juicy to return the favor. Fantasies about an unattainable celebrity is just kinda bland. If she has some other deeper darker fantasies, she has not let on...bummer for me I guess
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (23 September 2010):
 Actually the naughty neighbor, secretary etc fantasies are done to death as well, so...I don't know. Individuals are different and have varying perspectives. A lot of women (and men for that matter) are not comofortable talking about their fantasies and talk about a safe fantasy (nothing safer than Brad Pitt) than the real thing. Sometimes Brad Pitt IS the real thing.
Is it really that big a deal? She seems to enjoy your fantasies so that's a wonderful thing you two share.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 The concept of "boring" is very personal and individual.
Personally,I find most of the classic male fantasies- a couple of which you have quoted - so trite that I'd rather watch the paint dry. The secretary... the naughty nurse... the highschool girl.... YAWN. Zzzzzzzzzz....
Half of the world can't understand the passions and pleasures of the other half. Don't assume that your turn-ons are necessarily hotter or better than other people's ones - they are just different.
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A
female
reader, LustyLisa +, writes (22 September 2010):
My fantasies are pretty tame in comparison to my husband's but aren't boring to me at all. We don't swap fantasies as you discribed. Rather keep them as a privite little spice for ourselves.
The big problem with sharing fantasies is the insecurities and judgement that can cause, especially if there are big differances in fantasy styles and scenes played out in our minds. Since we view fantasies as something we would never do in real life anyway, why should we open pandora's box?
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (21 September 2010):
 To each woman her own. It's certainly not true of all women, just like men all have different fantasies. Everyone has their own private little world inside of their mind's eye, and everyones little world looks different. If George, Brad and Johnny are all rocking her boat, that sounds pretty sexy to me! She may be embarrassed to tell you the really dirty stuff, or what happens after Brad cleans the pool (maybe George and Brad are tag teaming her?) or she may just be focusing more on the feeling of masturbation then needing to have running imagery.
Who cares if YOU think it's boring, it's clearly working for her. And whatever she thinks is totally sexy is not for you to critique. Why don't you feed into the fantasies a little more? Go rent a sexy Brad Pitt movie and see if the sparks fly.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (21 September 2010):
 Different women think about different things. It's her fantasies, just let her be.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): I think a lot fo women fantasize about their own man, or they fantasize about something that embarrasses them so they don't want anyone to know.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Its not just your wife. I don't think of thinks when I masterbate at all, its puts me off! And I think most of the porn out there is boring. But I do like to talk to my boyfriend about making out with girls (im bi)
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A
female
reader, FluffyPie +, writes (21 September 2010):
 It depends on each woman. I'm keen on telling my boyfriend about my fantasies and we talk about it a lot.
As for your wife, maybe she doesn't tell you because she thinks you might have a certain reaction, like you are now: "What do women think about - is it really only corny bland scenarios where Brad Pitt is cleaning the pool, or George Clooney buys them a drink? Is that the best they can do? BORING!". Maybe she doesn't find it corny, maybe it's a turn on for her.
Is it bad to think of Brad Pitt or some random movie star, t-shirtless and sweaty, cleaning the pool? People can get turned on by ANYTHING. What you mean by "corny scenarios" you're actually referring to a "cliché", because you've probably heard and saw a lot of similar situations in your life. That's why you find it boring.
Or maybe she's got some really weird fantasies going on in her head, that she's ashamed to tell you.
Or maybe she's telling the truth. Maybe she doesn't think of anything in particular. I don't know your wife, so I can only presume. And so do you. And sometimes you can get real surprises when you find out about her fantasies. And who knows? it might even blow your mind.
Just don't make her feel bad about herself by laughing or putting her down because of her fantasies. Just be neutral and objective when it comes to it. People treat these things in different ways, so it's normal to have different opinions and viewpoints.
Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): lol, constant porno record button- I love it :)
I don't think they do judging by some of the pro/anti porn posts on this site. But here's the thing... anything involving brad pitt is one of the most cliche and "safest" ways she could respond to this question... I think in your situation that it sounds just like a bit of a front so that she doesn't have to expose her fantasies.
I mean... like if she's getting off to you describing different sexual situations involving you or her somehow, do you notice that she gets more worked up or flushed when you talk about any particular situation as opposed to another? For example, does she get more turned on when you talk about blowjobs, or you and another girl, does she get turned off by some things you say?
Basically if you notice a trend then you may have a good idea of whether she gets off to the subject matter or whether she really just finds your voice sexy, or maybe just likes being able to think about these naughty ideas without actually being accountable for saying them and is free to enjoy fantasising about such things guilt free... Hell, she could mostly be fantasising about you. Who really knows??
I'm probably talking garbage here, but I still say that there's a damn good chance that she has her fantasies that she just doesn't feel comfortable verbalizing to herself, let alone to you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2010): Does it really matter that you think your wife's fantasies are boring? Does it directly affect you in any way? Or should it be comforting to you that she isn't thinking of having sex with people she has access to, like the secretary where she works or the neighbor, like you are?
Your wife's fantasies are just fine if they work for her, and it sounds like they do.
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