A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:We are indians. My sister got married to an American Indian man.This was his second marrige and he hid that from us. My sister came to know about it during hers immigration process. However, she accpeted that man. She came to US in 2008.Fortunately, I got admission to a Business School and I came to US along with my family shortly after she came here. After 2.5 years, I noticed something strange in my brother-in-law's behavior towards me. He seemed to be too much obsessed with me and started sending overt gestures to get me into relationship.I got alert. My brother-in-law is very close to my husband. Then, my husband told me to stay away from my brother-in-law.My husband said that my brother-in-law has admitted in front of him that he had been a womaniser before mariage. Every third day, he had a new woman. He got married to some woman just in papers for Visa because my brother-in-law immigrated from India 14 years ago. He was 21 at that time.I was so shocked to hear that. I am not sure whether my sister knows this about him or not. She is aware of hers one Gf only. No doubts, that he has an extremly charming personality and very very good looking.I am scared of the repurcussions that if I tell my sister about his being womaniser, she will backlash and my relationship will suffer with her. My sister is just a stay home mom and is not as smart as an average American woman is. I am 11 years older than her and I worry for her future.Please advise. Shall I tell her or wait for sometime?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 September 2011):
 He is a natural flirt. It is very unpleasant when he flirts with another family member. You can tell him to stop or your husband can reprimand him. You heard of his nasty past, but what had he actually done after his marriage to your sister, besides flirting with you? Since your husband and him are close, your husband can ask him if he really loves your sister, enough to make sure she doesn't get hurt. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. If in the future he does something heinous, then you can tell your sister about it. Right now it serves no good to just mention what he did in the past because who knows maybe he changed for her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): Hello,
I wouldn't personally get involved. I'm a british born pakistani. If your brother in law is as charming as you say he is, I'm sure he will find a way to worm his way out of anything you tell your sister. Also you say your sister is not as smart as the average american woman, this makes me feel even more that her husband will be even more be able to sway her. I think he will make you end up looking like the jealous bitter woman and may even suggest that you are hitting on him, instead of the other way round. Who will your sister believe? I would keep well out of it.
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